


Am I really Broken?

by FallenLawliet



Category: B.A.P, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M, Please be nice, Rape, Some I might go into detail later, Soulmates, Suicide Attempts, There will be some implied mentions of really triggering things, first fic, implied rape, just so you guys know, there is a reason this fic is MA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:45:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9835394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenLawliet/pseuds/FallenLawliet
Summary: In a world where both are true. From the day you are born until the day you die, you have a clock on your wrist. A clock telling you when you will meet your soul mate. If that wasn't enough, you also dream about your soul mate, a way of finding clues to lead you two together.From the day Hoseok was born, everyone thought he was broken, for he was born without a clock.





	1. Soulmates

Chapter One.

 

 

From the day Hoseok was born, everyone thought he was broken, for he was born without a clock. His parents sobbed for hours on end when he was a child, fearing he would be alone forever. They were heartbroken for their innocent child, who would never grow to know the unconditional love that his parents felt for each other.

 

Once, when Hoseok was little, maybe around 5 or 6, he approached his mother timidly. "Mom..?" He asked softly, almost afraid to ask his question. His mother turned her sad eyes to her son. Every time she looked at him, she felt like sobbing, but she tried her best to remain strong for her child. "Yes, Hoseok?"

 

The younger boy swallowed roughly, steeling himself as he looked into his mothers eyes. "Why do you all always treat me like I am a broken toy? You always cry at night when you think I can't hear you and when I am around, you act like everything could hurt me." His mother looked shocked, her eyes widening. Before she could speak, her son was speaking again. "I don't need a stupid soulmate as long as I am happy, right mom? I can still be happy without things like that! I have you and dad here to support me!" He smiled brightly and his mother felt as though a blindfold had been lifted from her eyes, finally allowing the sunshine to come through. She smiled and knelt in front of her son, pulling him into a hug. "As long as you keep smiling like that, you will always be happy."

So he did. Hoseok always smiled. There were times when he was sad, yes, but he always held onto Hope. Even though he knew that he may never find someone meant to be with him, he knew that he could still be happy, and that was all he needed.

 

But one day, when Hoseok was 10, he had been skimming through channels when he had come across a dancing station. He watched with pure awe and adoration as bodies moved fluidly across the screen. He stood from where he sat on the couch and tried to mimic the moves as best as he could. After a little while, his father left his study, eyes falling on Hoseoks fluid movements and found himself smiling. "Hoseok...? What are you doing?" The boy turned, sweat sticking his hair to his head and a blinding smile on his face. "Dad!! I want to dance!!!"

\----------------

Years passed and Hoseok was giving it everything he had. There wasn't a single day he thought about giving up. Dancing made him happy. Dancing was his soulmate.

So when Hoseok was 15 he decided to try B-Boying. It wasn't uncommon and it was something he loved doing. He was in class, talking to one of his friends and their soulmate. Lucky them. They had found each other in 8th grade. Hoseok hadn't really had any friends most of his school years. They always out cast him. Made fun of him for not having a clock. Made fun of him and told him that he would always be alone. Hoseok held his head high through it all, knowing that as long as he was happy, he would be okay. As long as he had Hope.

 

\----

 

The year Hoseok had met his first friend was during 8th grade. Choi Jun-Hong was one of his main bullies. He was three years younger in 6th grade, but he was still a bully. He would pull his hair and push him around. Once, Hoseok had gotten his finger broken by Jun-Hong. It wasn't exactly an accident, but Hoseok bore no ill will towards him, just hoped that one day, Jun-Hong would find his soulmate.

 

Hoseok was walking home from school, the air outside crisp as the leaves were turning from a luscious green to a vibrant orange. It was rather windy out, so Hoseok had to clutch his jacket around him tighter to avoid freezing. He saw him then. Jun-Hong. A block away from the school. He was sitting at a bus stop, shivering uncontrollably, as the boy had forgotten to bring a jacket that day.

Only for a second had Hoseok considered ignoring him, but as he got closer, he heard the hushed sobs. The bus wasn't coming. The snow was starting to fall and an emergency broadcast had been put out. His phone beeped with a warning and Hoseok knew he couldn't just leave him here. Timidly, Hoseok approached, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it at Jun-Hong. "Put it on." He said, leaving no room for argument.

The snow bit at his shoulders and the wind only made it worse, but he knew that he didn't really need it most right now. Jun-Hong looked up in shock, his lips twisting into a cruel grimace. "I don't need your pity, fucker." He started to toss the jacket back, but Hoseok growled. "So you'd rather die? Is that it? The bus isn't coming, but you'd rather die and leave your soulmate broken, all because of your stupid pride??" He knew that was a bit far, but at the same time, he didn't have someone he had to stay alive for, but for someone he did, he could only see it as selfish to put yourself at risk.. Because you wouldn't just be hurting yourself.

At the mention of his soulmate, Jun-Hong sighed and put on the jacket, still warm from Hoseoks' body heat. Jun-Hong still hadn't even dreamed of his soulmate, but his clock told him that the days were coming closer. 2 years, 10 days, 12 hours. He knew Hoseok was right, even if he hated to admit it. Sighing, he glared up at Hoseok, noting the light shivers he was trying to hide. "Idiot. Why would you give me your jacket if you are just gonna be cold?!"

Hoseok avoided looking at him as he answered, eyes going immediately to his wrist. "I don't have someone waiting for me." Jun-Hong felt his heart drop, not having expected that kind of answer from someone who was always so happy that it irritated him. Sighing loudly, he turned away. "Well. Go home before you freeze to death." Hoseok looked confused. "Uhm.... I'm not just leaving you here. Did you not hear me? The bus isn't coming. A winter advisory notice was put out. Didn't you get it?"

Jun-Hong shook his head. "Nope. Phones dead." "Ah..." Hoseok breathed out lightly before texting his mom. "Come on. You're staying over at my house tonight." With wide eyes, Jun-Hong quickly looked up at Hoseok, confusion and a bit of anger filling his eyes. "Why do you even want to help me, man!? All I do is kick you around, but you're here acting like we're friends and shit." Hoseok laughed at this, a breathtaking smile on his face.

"What you did, doesn't matter. What you _will_ do is what is important." Suddenly... Jun-Hong started to feel bad. How could he have hurt something so innocent... so... Pure?

He stood and gestured for Hoseok to start walking. They walked for a few minutes in a strained silence before Hoseok started to talk. "It'll only be a little longer." He was shivering, but his stubborness didn't allow him to take his jacket back. "Where do you live?" He asked softly, Jun-Hong keeping his eyes trained in front of them. "Not around here. I live on the other side of town, hence why I needed the bus." Jun-Hong said, At least making an effort to talk. Perhaps it would distract the older from his shivering.

They were 3 years apart, and Jun-Hong was starting to feel that difference. They made it to Hoseoks house later and were immediately enveloped in warmth. That night, After telling his parents where their son was, Hoseoks' mom had given Jun-Hong homemade hot chocolate and had taken good care of him. She was telling him about how he was Hoseoks' first friend and how everyone usually thought he was a freak. This made Jun-Hong feel worse. They were allowed to share a room, but neither slept.

They spent all night talking to each other and learning more about each other. They had a lot more in common than they thought. When they did eventually fall asleep however, it was when they were exhausted and very happy. Before falling asleep, Jun-Hong thought to himself, "No matter what... I will repay the kindness that this family has shown me. Even after all that I have done, if I can be forgiven.. I would like that." That night, Jun-Hong had his first dream of his soulmate.

\---

Hoseok and Jun-Hong are best friends. Hoseok is a freshman and Jun-Hong is now in 8th grade. The kid was pretty smart. He had gotten boosted 2 years. Hoseok is also close friends with Jun-Hongs' soulmate Jung Daehyun. They were the same age and had the same family name, although there was no relation. They had gotten along quicker than he thought they would, but all was good. Hoseok was still naive and too kind for his own good, but now he had two friends that made him happy. They supported him through everything, and Hoseok thought he could never be happier than this. Hoseok told them about his plans to go to an underground rap battle and dance. They were wary, not because you can't dance at an underground rap battle, but because of how kind Hoseok was. They were worried, but still gave him their support


	2. Chapter 2: Some shit happens.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok goes to Seoul for dancing. Nothing happens. Absolutely nothing at all.
> 
>  
> 
> TW: Implied Rape. If it makes you uncomfortable, that part is in bold. Feel free to skip over it.

Chapter 2: (TW: Some shit almost happens)  
As Hoseok stood in his room, months after the conversation he had with his friends, wearing the most comfortable clothes he could find for dancing, his heart began to pick up in pace. He was nervous. He was 15 and had to go alone, as his friends were on house arrest from their parents. He knew he could do this. He had to see if he could handle this kind of life, even if he already knew dancing was his passion.

  
He put on his snapback and took a breath, smiling to himself and giving his parents a loving goodbye as he left to go to the underground. It was dark out, and to say that Hoseok was scared was a bit of an understatement. He had to get on the subway train and head to Seoul on his own. He had an internet friend that he would be staying with for a week there. In a few days, Jun-Hong and Daehyun would meet him there. Together, they would audition at a company.. If Hoseok didn't crack under pressure.

  
He made his way down to the underground subway, ticket in the backpack he had slung over his shoulders, thankful that it was summer already. It wasn't cold out, even though it was nearly 7pm. He loved this kind of weather. Hoseok always said that he would rather be hot than be cold, though usually he accompanied that statement with a flirty wink.   
Hoseok felt eyes on him, so he turned, looking around the not so full station. It didn't take long for him to make eye contact with some burly guy across the tracks. The man was obviously checking him out, but Hoseok stubbornly looked away. Why would some dude check him out? The other dude probably had a soulmate.

His thoughts changed direction and he began to fix his outfit. Maybe the guy was staring because he had something on wrong? Or maybe there was something on his face?

  
His thoughts were stopped by the sounds of the oncoming train. He made sure he was behind the yellow line and waited patiently. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a child playing with a bouncy ball. The ball was being thrown and was suddenly lost in the tracks. Hoseok turned his head to look now, eyes looking for the childs parents. Even a tiny ball like that could screw up the train. When he found them, they weren't paying attention. Ready to say something, Hoseok started to walk over, only to notice the child getting dangerously close to the edge of the platform.

  
Closer and closer the child got. Louder and louder the train became. The child was in the danger zone, reaching towards the tracks. The light of the train was now shining through the tunnel. Hoseok didn't even blink. He didn't think. He ran. He ran as fast as he could and pulled the child back behind the safety line, just as the train pulled into the station. The child had been inches away from an untimely fate.

  
Hoseok stumbled, pulling the child down with him. Thanks to his dancing skills, he managed to twist his body, allowing the childs' fall to be cushioned against his chest. The adrenaline left him and his body started to shake. He stood, helping the child up. "A....Are you okay?" He gasped out softly, as the child began sobbing, parents rushing over. The parents started yelling at Hoseok, not having grasped the situation. Their child spoke up. "Moooommmyyy....." The child sniffled. "Mommy no.... He saved me!!!"

  
A few others who had seen the incident explained it to the mother, while Hoseok remained silent. He was still in shock from adrenaline and almost seeing such a precious life lost. He was still in shock as he walked away from the crowd and into his train without so much as a thank you. The child was alright, and that was all he needed to know.

He suddenly became exhausted and his eyes began to droop, so Hoseok placed his backpack under his body to prevent anything from being stolen, and started to fall asleep.

He dreamed while on the train. Hoseok was very confused, as he dreamed of six people. They were all standing above him and smiling kindly down at him. He couldn't see anything about them. Other than the smiles they had, he couldn't see anything else than swirling bodies. Oddly, he felt no fear at the smiles they had, instead feeling intense love and happiness. It shocked him deeply and he awoke with a gasp and tears in his eyes. What did this mean??   
He grabbed his backpack and ran into the next compartment for the bathroom. As soon as he was in, he called his best friend, the only person he could think to turn to. It rang once before his friend was picking up, showing how obviously worried he had been for Hoseok.

  
"Hoseok?? Are you alright?? You told me you would call when you got there, and I KNOW you aren't there yet." Jun-Hongs' anxious voice poured through the speaker and Hoseok immediately felt calm, though his voice still came out shaky. "I...I had a dream." He started, voice soft. The other end was dead silent as Jun-Hong waited for more. "I had a dream.." Hoseok continued. "Of Six different men." Hoseok went on to explain every detail, including the details of their smiles.

  
It took exactly six minutes of silence before Jun-Hong spoke. "That.... sounds pretty weird. Did you tell your mom?" Hoseok felt ashamed at realizing that he had called his best friend before calling his loving parents. Jun-Hong chuckled lightly. "I'll take your silence as a no, then. Look, Hoseok. I have an idea, but I don't want to get your hopes up. Not unless you start having more dreams, okay? I know you know what I'm talking about, so don't go getting your hopes up either, okay Hyung?"   
Hoseok indeed knew what he meant, and nodded, even though Jun-Hong couldn't see it. "Yeah... I just thought you should know about my dream." They chatted a few minutes more before Hoseok got off the phone and returned to his spot in the train.

\---  
The entire ride was 2 hours long, so when Hoseok got off the train, he felt his entire body aching to move. It was almost 9pm, just an hour before Hoseok needed to be in the underground for the show to start. He ran as fast as he could, having memorized the directions earlier on the train. At least he had something to do.

  
Hoseok made it exactly 3 minutes before the doors were closed and was allowed access, though the looks he got were not entirely kind. He knew you had to be a certain age to get in, but he also knew that if you showed up that close to the doors closing, they would let you in without checking for your I.D.

  
He knew it was wrong. He knew he was breaking every rule that had been instilled in him, but he also knew that he had to make his dreams come true. He knew he had to make a name for himself by doing what he does best. Dancing.  
The sights as he reached the underground area took him by surprise. He wasn't expecting the place to be THIS packed. Not did he expect the smell of smoke and alcohol to be so thick. It clung to him like a nasty smog and he knew he would have to shower later. He gathered his courage and entered the area, pushing past gyrating bodies and drunken people. Once he made it to a corner in the giant place, he stayed there, waiting for the show to start.

  
\---

  
Kim Namjoon was in the Underground, his heart racing and his hands beginning glisten with sweat. This was his chance. He knew it. He could do this. He was nervous, of course, but he had to make a name for himself. He had to, or everything would have been in vain. He had already started making a name for himself under 'Runch Randa', but tonight there was a scout in the crowd. He had to do well.

  
As Namjoon entered the stage, his nerves died. This was HIS stage. The stage he had performed at many times. This crowd was HIS crowd. They cheered his name and pride filled him. He smirked and raised his arms to the crowd to hush them.   
Usually, it would take a few minutes for them to quiet down, but the eerie hush taht immediately fell over them made him wonder if this was another dream where he had walked out on stage naked. Confused, he looked down at himself to make sure. Nope... he was definitely dressed. What could it be?

  
He turned at the last second, a body tumbling onto the floor and a chair missing its' mark. Namjoon stood there in shock for a moment. Someone had actually tried to kill him.. Or at least seriously injure. The obviously very drunk person was escorted out roughly. Namjoon took a second to compose himself before the beat started. Things like this happened often... just not to Namjoon.

  
He started rapping fluidly, the words dropping from his lips and setting a fire beneath peoples' feet. People started dancing, but Namjoon paid them no mind until a young man who couldn't be over 15 started dancing in the main dance area. Though his words didn't falter, he couldn't take his eyes off of the kid. Namjoon himself was only 14, but he looked and sounded much older, so he had no troubles getting in and out of this club, but he honestly had no idea how this kid got in.

  
\----------

  
Hoseok felt the beat run through his body, his blood rushing and his body moving before he could tell it to stop. He had just really wanted to scope out tonight, get a general feel of this place, but his body had other plans. He made his way to the center and let his body take over. His eyes were closed and all he could do was feel. He felt the heat of people nearby, watching him dance and shouting for him to "Get it." He thinks. He can't really tell. He isn't focused on that. He feels the familiar fire in his muscles as he dances, not sparing a moment to feel embarrassed in the slightest.

  
This is natural. This is Hoseok.

  
The rap ended far too fast for Hoseok, but when his eyes opened, he felt new again. People were cheering him and the rapper on. People were asking for Hoseoks name, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. He didn't want people to be able to look him up and tell his mom that he had come to a place like this. He had told her that he was going to Seoul to dance, not anything specific. "...J-Hope." He said, and the name felt right.

  
\---  
His friends had arrived the next day and the day took place almost exactly like how it had the previous. It wasn't until Hoseoks last day in Seoul when things became.... drastically different.

  
Hoseok has shown up at the last minute as usual and took his normal corner. People were recognizing him. They had even greeted him and he had a personalized handshake for all of them.

  
It wasn't until a new man approached him that things started changing. A man in a suit approached Hoseok, seeming calm. He was talking to Hoseok about being scouted. This was what he had always wanted, so Hoseok eagerly agreed! They decided to leave the club to chat somewhere quiet, and Hoseok eagerly followed.

  
\--  
Hours passed and Jun-Hong was becoming worried. It got to the point where he was pacing in front of the Underground, waiting for someone to come out. Anyone that could give him any information at all.

  
Another hour passed before the club was letting out. Jun-Hong grabbed onto the first person he could, his breathing ragged as he explained the situation. That person had explained how he saw Hoseok leave the building with some guy know for hooking up with random people in the club, and Jun-Hong felt his stomach drop. Hoseok was so innocent. He didn't look at anyone that way. Even at the slightest mention of a kiss the poor boy would turn bright red.

  
Jun-Hong started running towards the nearest hotel, when a hand came down on his shoulder. "Let me come with." A blonde man said, running with Jun-Hong. There was hardly any time for words, but Jun-Hong managed to get his name. Namjoon.   
\--   
_**Hoseok couldn't really remember much. That was for the best. He remembered getting into the hotel and drinking some water that the scout had given him, then everything else was gone. He woke to the sound of a door breaking in and shouting. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry, so he tried to sit up, but found he couldn't without pain, so he laid there and managed to fall asleep.**_

  
_**When he woke again, he couldn't see. Things were far too bright. Everything was white and there were people sobbing next to him. He couldn't fathom why. Slowly sitting up, Hoseok was relieved to know that the pain that had flowed through him earlier was now nothing but a dull throbbing.** _

  
At seeing him wake, Jun-Hong ran over and took his hands. Hoseok was so confused. "Jun-ah...? Why are you crying? Where am I...?" He asked softly, his voice coming out as a little croak. "....I need water..." Daehyun immediately appeared at Hoseoks other side, handing him a cup of water. Hoseok took it gratefully, chugging it down. "Much better..... Now why are you guys crying?" He asked.

  
Namjoon was the one who spoke. "What do you remember?" Hoseok frowned, not knowing why Namjoon would be there, but he answered politely anyway. "Not much. I remember talking to someone and drinking water, but that's about it.." The three looked at each other and nodded before talking to Hoseok again. Jun-hong spoke softly. "You were... You fainted in the park. I told you to eat something before you left tonight, you idiot!" He lied, punching Hoseok half-heartedly in the arm.   
Hoseok didn't realize the lie and sheepishly rubbed his arm. "...Sorry..." Jun-Hong sighed in relief and hugged Hoseok gently. "Don't scare us like that again.."

  
\--   
_**No matter how much Hoseok tried, while in the shower the night he was allowed to go home, he still was unable to explain the hand shaped bruises on his thighs.**_

  
\--  
Hoseok was texing Namjoon frequently now that he was back in Gwangju and Namjoon was back in Goyang. They had become friends after that night, talking often. Hoseok told Namjoon about his and Jun-Hongs' plans to audition at a company, and Namjoon felt compelled to join in. So, they had a plan.. but they needed to be a lot more prepared.

  
\--

  
A few years passed, and Hoseok was in a new school with Jun-Hong in Gwang-Ju. Things were great. It was a school for dance. Of course things were amazing, but Jun-Hong refused to let Hoseok out of his sight for long, and it was starting to become a bit annoying.

  
It became too much one day and Hoseok rounded on Jun-Hong in the apartment the two -and Juns' soulmate- shared together.

  
It wasn't like Hoseok to get mad. Especially not this mad. The two were screaming at each other in no time, but Jun knew he couldn't tell Hoseok the truth. Even if it tore their friendship apart.

  
That night ended an era of a beautiful relationship.  
\--  
A few more years passed. Hoseok is now 19 and standing in front of JYP with Namjoon and a new friend he had made. YoungJae.   
Namjoon and Hoseok didn't make it in. It was fine. They would try again.

And again they tried. Until finally... they struck gold.  
\--  
Flash forward a few months. Namjoon and Hoseok are now being accepted as trainees at Big Hit entertainment. They stand in front of a door that will lead to the people they would be training with and may even become a group with. They were both very nervous, but definitely in a happy way.

  
Namjoon squeezed Hoseoks' hand before entering the room with him and letting his hand go so that Hoseok could hide his wrist. Namjoon was now the only person Hoseok could count on to keep his secret, and he intended to keep it that way. If people found out, fine. But neither were going to go around telling the trainees.   
Everything was fine... Until Namjoons' clock suddenly hit Zero.


	3. Chapter 3: Seokjin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything was cool.. 
> 
> Until everything wasn't.

CHAPTER 3;  
Seokjin was in the trainee room, having been scouted off of the streets. He had been approached twice before, but always thought it was a scam. This time, he decided to take a risk. Here he was. He wasn't alone, of course. A few of the trainees were hanging around him. He really couldn't blame them though.

Seokjin was hot. He knew it. He wasn't cocky about it either though. This was just another fact for him. The sun was bright, Ice is cold, he is hot. Those words meant nothing for him. Besides. He wasn't using his beauty to gain anything. He wanted to be appreciated for who he was.

  
Still, he felt so blessed with his looks on this day. On this day, he was sitting in a company, ready to train to become an Idol. And not only that, his clock said he was due to meet his soulmate today. What else could he possibly ask for?   
He gazed at his wrist until the minutes became seconds, turning his attention to the door. He knew the next person through that door would be his mate.

  
3...

  
2...

 

10...

  
Seokjin bit back a groan of frustration. Of course the other person would be nervous.   
9...  
8..  
7..  
6..  
5..  
4..  
Seokjin started tapping the floor with his nails. The counting down was wracking his body with anxiety.  
3...

 

2..

  
1.  
The door opened and Seokjin felt the life leave him. Entering the door was a built man, though not overly so, with dark skin and blonde hair. This was his mate. He felt it with every fiber of his being, and he couldn't help the elated screech that left his lips. He was on his feet in a second, running to the man before him.

  
Seokjin had dreamt of this day quite literally many times over, but had never seen his soulmates face in any of them, but had only heard his voice. He now knew why. The man before him was not a usual type of handsome. Some people would not appreciate his looks, but Seokjin couldn't help but to marvel at every little detail in the mans' face and especially his smile. The way the other man dimpled and smiled down at Seokjin told him that he was doing the same.  
Commiting every detail to memory.

  
\--

  
Namjoons' hand stilled at the doorknob, a light hiss leaving his lips and an itchy feeling at his wrist. Hoseok started to say something, but the words were lost in time as he glanced down only for a second, his eyes widening. His clock had only seconds left. How had he missed something this important??

  
Namjoon had to admit, he never really cared much about the whole soulmates thing. He figured that the whole thing was cool, but it wouldn't stop him from doing whatever he wanted. But now that the moment was actually here, He felt himself tensing up. Hesitating. Was he really ready for this?

  
His clock jumped up to 10 seconds and he realized that he was the cause for this. Of course, Namjoon felt bad. Like... really bad, but he had to make sure he was prepared to face whomever... whatever was on the other side of the door.   
As the clock reached 3 again, he took a deep breath and pushed the door open, his clock reaching Zero. A brunett jumped off the ground, dashing towards him. Namjoon steeled himself and let his breath leave him in a small 'oof' as the other quite literally 'glomped' him.

  
Namjoon had never really dreamed of his soulmate, per se. He always saw a beautiful kitchen with something new being made every day. The smells had always brought him to tears and he would wake frustrated, the last thing he would see in his dreams were a pair of full lips, saying his name like a prayer.

  
It always had tore at him, but he pretended he didn't care. He knew the voice was male. He knew his friends would give him shit for it. But at this moment, the moment of having his soulmate with him, he knew none of that mattered now. He was finally whole.

  
\--

  
Hoseok was standing beside Namjoon, just outside of the door, ready to enter and begin their new lives together as best friends. He was excited, but Namjoon was hesitating. "Hey.... It's not as scary as you think... we've been through worse. Remember when-" He stopped when Namjoon glanced down, and his eyes followed. Namjoons' wrist clock. Only seconds were left on it.

  
Namjoons' soulmate was on the other side of the door.

  
Namjoons.

  
Soulmate.

  
These thoughts.. words..

  
Hoseok knew he should be happy for his friend. He knew he should be cheering. But all he could feel was a hollowness in his chest. He knew the minute you met your soulmate, anything and everything else became obsolete.

 

He..

  
Became obsolete.

He bit his tongue and choked back the tears and Namjoon entered the room, Hoseok just behind him. The only thing he could think when Namjoon met his soulmate was how perfect they looked together, and how he would never have that.  
Namjoon was so excited. The one named Seokjin was happily exchanging info with Namjoon. And Hoseok... Hoseok was left by himself. Namjoon glanced over briefly, and Hoseok forced himself to smile, ignoring the pain ripping him apart. It must have worked, because Namjoon smiled and turned back to Seokjin.

  
Something about the both of their smiles made a nagging feeling tug at Hoseoks' brain, but he ignored it.

  
\--

 

Alone.. He was always alone.

  
He would always be alone.

  
He was born this way.

  
A freak.

  
The thoughts clouded Hoseoks' mind as he made his way to a corner of the trainee room. They were all in there, waiting to be taken to the dorms they would be staying at for the next few months. He sunk down into a corner and brought his knees up to his chest, crying as quietly as he could with his arms over his face.

  
A kid near him asked him if he was okay, but Hoseok just shrugged, never lifting his head. "I'm alright kid. Just really tired. Stayed up all night because of nerves." He said. The kid laughed, but then pouted. "Don't call me kid! You don't even know if you're older than me or not!"

  
Hoseok peeked up, still hiding his tear streaked face. This 'kid' had black hair and milky skin. His eyes were narrow and his face was as smooth as Hoseok wishes his could be. Sighing heavily and wiping his face, he looked into the 'kids' eyes. "Kid, you can't be older than.. .what... twelve?"

  
The kid growled. "I'm 19, jackass." Hoseoks' eyes brightened a bit and he grinned. "We're the same age then! Woooww.... you really don't look 19 at all!!" He praised the kid on his skin. "My name is Jung Hoseok! What is yours?" He asked kindly, feeling a lot better now. The 'kid' rolled his eyes and smirked. "Min Yoongi." Hoseoks' eyes widened in disbeleif. "/THE/ Min Yoongi?! DUDE! I was at like... 7 of your rap battles!!!" He exclaimed, looking so much happier now, and feeling every bit of it.   
It was Yoongis' turn to be surprised now. "Really? Thanks... I guess? You don't look like the type to listen to rap though.." He looked Hosoek over.. Definitely not checking him out. Nope.

  
Hoseok sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "I prefer to dance, but I can rap a litt- WAIT. You're from Daegu! Your accent is so cool!!!" He said, changing the subject quickly.

  
Yoongi grinned a gummy grin that definitely didn't make Hoseoks' heart skip a beat. Nope. No way. "Yeah. You seem like you're from Gwangju, yeah? Your satoori is really friendly sounding." He said, voice calm. Hoseok wondered if this guy was on constant chill mode. Hosoek nodded, grinning widely. "I thought I'd only meet seoul kids here."   
Yoongi bristled again at Hoseok saying Kids and gave him a dangerous look. "Oh yeah.... what's your birth year, by the way?" He hated being called kid, and the mention of kids reminded him of their earlier conversation. "1994." Hoseok said immediately, grinning, He obvious expected to be older.

 

Suga grinned, though this one was a bit more evil. "1993. Looks like you need to start calling me Hyung..... Kid."

 

It took three hours of Hoseok pouting for Namjoon to notice and walk over, hand in hand with his soulmate. "What is going on over here?" He asked, sitting down with the two of them. He didn't notice the pain flit through Hoseoks' eyes, but Seokjin did.   
Seokjin stared at Hoseok, wondering if the younger had been in love with Namjoon. The way they talked togther was only friendly.. Maybe unrequited love? Jin wasn't feeling jealousy. Not at all. He knew no one could come between him and Namjoon. Instead, he felt sorry for Hoseok. Though when that pain filled look was directed at him next, Seokjin had another idea.

  
Seokjin said nothing as they were packing up and moving to their dorms. Oddly, the four of them were the only ones in this dorm at the moment, though they were told that three others would be joining them at some point in the next few days. Seven people. Seokjin dared to hope for a moment that this meant that they were already being put into a group.

 

They had pizza to celebrate their victories in becoming trainees, and even started sharing stories of life before auditioning, and even talking about failed auditions, no matter how cringy. Even Seokjin had some stories to share about how he had ran for his life from a scout, thinking it had been some crazy noona.

  
They all shared laughs and became close, all in the span of a few hours. It was crazy. Hoseok brought them all together and had started the conversations, after he had noticed the awkward silence. Hoseok was the one who had suggested pizza, making everyone die with hunger. Hoseok was the one that pointed out everyones' similarities.

  
\--

  
As night fell, the boys took their showers and started heading off to bed. Seokjin took a room with Namjoon. Hoseok and Yoongi took a room.

  
Seokjin was finally alone with Namjoon, feeling nervous, but also very happy. He sat down on the bed he would be sharing, patting the space next to him.

  
Soon, they were cuddling, breathing in the other and placing the scents to memory. "Namjoon..." Seokjin broke the silence, his voice still soft. "Yes...Seokjin?" Namjoon asked, feeling weird flutters in his stomach just at saying the others' name. Seokjin took a small breath. "Did Hoseoks' soulmate die or something? He looked so sad today when we sat with him." He said, staring into Namjoons' eyes.

  
It was not his place to say anything. He knew this. He also knew that Seokjin was his soulmate. He couldn't keep anything from him. "No..... Hoseok..... he doesn't have a soulmate. He was born without a clock." Namjoon said quietly, looking away from Seokjin, who gasped at the thought. "He prefers not to talk about it.. and always keeps it covered." He said quietly, feeling awful for telling his friends' secrets like this.

  
He did not expect Seokjin to start crying. That.... that hurt more. He pulled his love close, petting his hair gently. "What...Why are you crying??" He started to panic.

  
Seokjin shook his head, little hiccups leaving him. "He....He is destined to be alone forever??? That's so cruel...." He started sobbing again. "Its so terribly cruel... He is so kind.. and his smile is so bright... anyone would be so lucky to have him, so why?? Why is he destined to be alone???" He bawled into Namjoons shoulder.

 

Namjoon laughed softly, though deep down, he felt the same. "You are such an empath.." He said softly, kissing Seokjins' head. "Hoseok is living. He says he doesn't care if he has a soulmate or not, as long as he is happy and can make others happy. Besides. I swear I have heard that kid say dancing was his soulmate a few times."

  
This finally allowed Seokjin to laugh and nuzzle closer to Namjoon. "At.....at least he can see the bright side of things." Namjoon nodded. "I swear. That kid could rival the Sunshine with how bright he is."


	4. Chapter 4 : TW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicidal Ideation  
> TW: Cutting  
> TW: Depressing thoughts  
> \---The in detail stuff is in bold and is Italic. Skip if you are easily triggered. --

CHAPTER 4: tw: suicidal ideation. cutting.

No one knew the darkness that was Hoseok. They only ever knew what they could see, which is the way Hoseok liked it. He thought if people thought he was happy, they wouldn't question. He thought if he pretended to be happy, maybe one day he would be.

  
The truth was.. He felt the emptiness everyday. He felt the pain of never being able to have someone that would fit him perfectly, like a puzzle being completed. It was tearing him apart slowly. The events of today had badly shaken him.   
Soon, he would be alone again. He knew this. Everyone would find their perfect other, and he would be left alone. The thoughts continued to barrage him throughout the night, even though he was laughing and playing with the others. Everyone was beginning to get tired, so they headed off towards some random rooms. Hoseok ended up in the same room as Yoongi. He was fine with that. It's not like the two soulmates would be separated anyway.

  
He felt that familiar stab in his heart as he claimed his bed, watching Yoongi claim a bed in the middle of the room. He watched. Waiting for Yoongi to fall asleep. He wasn't expecting it to happen so quickly. Poor guy must have been tired.  
Hoseok lightly chuckled to himself as he grabbed some spare clothes, tip toeing out of the room and heading towards the bathroom. Perhaps a shower would clear his head.

  
\--  
As the steam filled the room and hot water his his skin, he could feel it starting. The darkness. The side of Hoseok that he never let anyone see. The thoughts telling him that he would never be good enough. The thoughts that told him he was better off dead. This was another reason he always wore long sleeves. No one knew this side of him. They always thought he was just avoiding looking at his bare wrist... if they could even be called that anymore.

  
Fading white lines adorned his arms, criss-crossing up his arm, stopping short of his biceps. Every day, he covered his arms in makeup, on the off chance someone would be seeing him shirtless at any point. His concealers really did their job and no one had been the wiser. No one knows this secret but himself.

  
Standing under the spray, his makeup began to run, tanning the water. He let out a shaky sigh, leaning his head against the tile of the shower, allowing the spray to help relax his back muscles, his mind wandering.

  
_**T** **he pain of the blade on his skin was a temporary fix he had begun to rely on. He knew it was a bad thing. He knew he ran the risk of one day going too far.. being unable to take it back. But at the moment, it was a sweet relief. He didn't necessarily want to die. He just... He wished he hadn't been born a freak. He wished with all of his heart that there was someone out there for him.** _

  
_**Little sobs began to break through his lips and he slid down to his hands and knees, his tears getting lost in the shower spray. Only in the shower was Hoseok allowed to break down. Back in Gwangju, he used to run away into the dark forest and stare at the stars, wishing for something more. Here in the city, he didn't have that. He only had scalding water to muffle his sobbing.** _   
_**The water began to turn cold and Hoseoks' sobbing slowly stopped, a determined look falling on his face. He reached out of the shower and into his discarded pants pocket, pulling out his wallet, careful not to get it wet. He opened it slowly and pulled out the neatly folded tissue,tossing his wallet aside. He unwrapped the tissue, staring at the razor blade for only a minute, his eyes closing.** _

  
_**This temporary release that stained water into a deep pink color was what he thought he needed. He can't remember where he learned this from, or how it had started, but he knew he had been doing this for years. Especially after his big fight with Jun-Hong. He wasn't in love with Jun-Hong, but the two had been through so much together.** _

  
_**The ending of the friendship was his fault. He knew this. He wanted that back so badly, but he could never bring himself to press send on the text. What if Jun-Hong had deleted his number?** _

  
_**Ten minutes. The water had gone icy and the bleeding was beginning to slow down. Hoseok finally exited the shower and dried off, once again hiding his blade in a neatly folded tissue and placing it in his wallet. It would be hard to hide these marks this time. He cleaned his wounds and wrapped the bandages carefully around his arms, pulling on his long sleeved shirt and his jeans. Not optimal sleepwear, but at the moment, he didn't care. He was empty.** _

  
_**Hoseok gathered his dirty clothes and sprayed the room with febreeze, to keep the others from smelling the rusty smell associated with blood.** _

  
\----  
Hoseok exited the bathroom with a small smile on his now pale face. He needed to eat something. He walked towards the laundry hamper and tossed his clothes in, looking up and letting out a scream. Seokjin had been standing there the entire time.

  
Seokjins' eyes widened and he stepped back. "WHAT? WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING???" He was panicking, thinking something was behind him. Hoseok had screamed bloody murder, but Seokjin had thought Hoseok had seen him when he had gotten out.

  
Hoseok grasped at his chest, breathing hard. He, in fact, had not noticed Seokjin standing there and it had scared him. "WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT IN A DARK HALLWAY YOU FUCKING WEIRDO?!" He shot back, though he couldn't help the nervous laugh that bubbled past his lips. Soon, the both of them were on the floor, laughing their asses off until a very disgruntled Yoongi came storming out of the room he shared with Hoseok, telling them to shut the fuck up unless they wanted his foot up their asses.

  
The two silenced themselves, moving towards the kitchen while giggling under their breath.   
Hoseok grinned as he started making himself a sandwich, wincing a little as reaching put a strain on his arms. The wince, Seokjin did not miss, though he couldn't fathom why Hoseok was in pain. "Are you alright?" He asked suddenly, motherly mode on.

  
Hoseok began to panic internally, but kept a level face. Had he been too loud? "I'm fine. I... slipped in the shower." He said with his trademark grin. Seokjin wasn't entirely convinced, but he let it go, watching Hoseok make a sandwich for him as well.  
Once he was done, he handed the sandwich to Seokjin and sat at the kitchen table with him, the question flying out of his mouth suddenly. "Why were you in the dark hallway like some creep?" He asked, locking eyes with Seokjin, who had to swallow the bite of food in his mouth before answering.

  
"Sometimes I can't sleep at night. I was going to go use the bathroom and splash water on my face, but I heard the water running and decided to wait." He said softly, but started biting his lip. Hoseok noted that it must be a nervous habit. "....Was the running water all you heard?" He asked, now unable to look Seokjin in the eyes.

  
"No." Seokjin said softly and reached over, placing his hand gently over Hoseoks' who flinched only slightly. "...Were you crying because of Namjoon and I?" He asked, voice gentle.

  
Hoseok placed his food down and pulled his hand away from Seokjin, breath trembling. "....I just.... I don't want to be abandoned like everyone else when someone gets a soulmate.." He admitted, tears stinging his eyes again.

  
And Seokjin...

  
Seokjin had the audacity to laugh.

  
Hoseok felt his blood boiling, glaring daggers at Seokjin, who only laughed harder.  
"You...." He gasps, laughing. "You think... Namjoon... is going to abandon you??" He laughed harder, and Hoseok felt the sudden urge to slam his fist into those pretty pink lips. Something tugged at his memory again, but he ignored it. Again.   
Seokjin forced Hoseok to look at him, his face suddenly serious. "That boy.... if he wasn't my soulmate, I could swear he was in love with you. He worries about you so much! The entire time we were in the room for these past hours, we were talking about you and how much he loves you." He said with a smile.

  
Hoseok felt his ear turn red and his gaze fell, staring at the table with a lost look. Seokjin placed a hand on Hoseoks' shoulder, rubbing gently. "He will never abandon you." The older got up, placing his dish in the sink, reminding himself to wash it in the morning and heading off towards his shared room with Namjoon. "As if I would allow him too." He tsked and left Hoseok alone in his silence.

\--  
All he could think of now was how badly he fucked up and overreacted.   
And now, the scars would never let him forget it.

\--

Two days passed and Hoseok was finally able to take off the bandages and put makeup on again, the wounds having become scabs at this point. He still had to wear long sleeves, but soon he would be able to wear his basketball shirts again. He always hated this part.

The recovery.

  
He hated wearing long sleeves in the summer. It made his skin so icky and gross feeling. He'd always have to shower once he got home, which ended up costing him a lot in concealer, since he needed to replenish more often. During the winter, he could skip a few days.

Save money.

  
But today was the day. Two of the last three would be showing up today. The final one was delayed by a week. Something about being snowed in at his family cabin in Busan.

  
Two young boys stood in front of Hoseok and he felt a sick glee at knowing he wasn't the youngest anymore. One introduced himself as Kim Taehyung and his soulmate Jeon Jungkook. The two had apparently met on the bus on the way to the dorm and their clocks had hit Zero.

  
Hoseok found he didn't care about this union nearly as much. He didn't know them. Though... they would never SHUT UP. The one called Taehyung would run around the dorm screaming nonsense, while Jungkook would chase him down trying to shut him up. So... Hoseok decided to use his power as a Hyung... before Yoongi decided to.

  
He stood in front of Taehyung as the other came crashing into him. His dancing stance helped him not fall over, instead watching with a small smirk as Taehyung landed on his ass. "You should stop running around like that. You might get hurt." He snickered and stepped over Taehyung as the other meekly murmured a, "Yes... hyung..." Hoseok almost felt bad, but his head was aching and his arms were still sore. He was in too much pain right now to listen to screaming.

  
However, this was still very out of character for him, so Namjoon got up. "Yah. Hoseok. Come chat for a minute." He led Hoseok into a room, sitting him down and standing before him, arms crossed. "What's your issue today? You've been very rude today." He said, a worried but disappointed look on his face.

  
Hoseok sighed and rubbed at his head. "Look, hyung.. I have a prety bad headache right now. It was me saying something, or Yoongi-hyung and I really didn't want to have to listen to his roaring right now." He said, looking up at Namjoon with puppy eyes. Namjoon felt his resolve break and he sighed, ruffling Hoseoks hair gently. "Fine.. Take some medicine, but you better go apologize to Taehyung."

  
He nodded and saluted Namjoon sarcastically, going over to his desk and taking a couple aspirin. Once he felt the aching die down, he left his room and approached Taehyung, a dusty pink on his cheeks. He felt very embarrassed by his behavior earlier. "Hey.....Ah....S...Sorry about earlier.." He said, biting his lip.

  
Taehyung brightened up and hugged Hosoek so tight, he thought he would die. Hoseok couldn't help but feel like that Box smile was familiar. He didn't want to think about it any longer, so he just smiled back. "I forgive you, hyung~!! Now come play with me and Jungkookieee! I was just about to kick his ass in smash bros!" He grinned mischievously and flopped back on the couch.

  
Jungkook ignored them, focused on the game. While the two had talked, he had been strategizing. So when Taehyung joined in again, Jungkook unleashed his hell like fury. Taehyung roared in surprise. "I WILL NOT LOSE JEON JUNGKOOOK."

  
Hoseok laughed and held his sides, stepping back. "N-No thanks!! Seems like you have your hands full as is!" He grinned and headed to the kitchen. It was a bit warmer in the dorm now, with more bodies, and his long sleeved shirt was beginning to become even more uncomfortable. His arms were itching, but he knew if he said anything, he would be told to change into a tank top or something. He looked around the kitchen, seeing if he was alone, before rolling up his sleeve and putting his arm under cold water, hoping it would stop the itch.

  
A sharp gasp alerted him to Seokjins' presence, the boy having dropped the apple in his hand. The apple, now forgotten as Seokjin rushed over to the stunned Hoseok, ripping his arm out of the water and starting to yell.

  
Panicking, Hoseok slapped a hand over Seokjins' mouth, his eyes deadly. He pushed Seokjin until he was pinning Seokjin against a wall. "Don't say anything to ANYONE." He growled. This was HIS problem. Seokjin nodded weakly, a little fear in his eyes, which made Hoseok feel immediately worse, his own eyes watering. "Please... I.... I'm handling this on my own.. Please don't tell anyone... especially not Namjoon.." He said, lowing his hand and rolling the sleeve back down.

  
When he finally looked at Seokjin, his heart sank. He had accidentally covered Seokjins' mouth too hard and not his top lip was split, bleeding a bit. "I...I'm so sorry!!" He said immediately, while Seokjin simply shook his head. "Don't worry about it..." He said weakly, feeling as though he would be sick. He dabbed at his lip gently, wondering what could have possibly caused someone so bright to do something so dark.

  
Even though he didn't personally know Hoseok, he knew that the boy had never show any signs of something like this around Namjoon. Namjoon said the boy was always happy. It twisted Seokjins' heart and his motherly instincts began to take over again. "But please..... next time... If there is a next time.... talk to me instead."

  
The sincerity of Seokjins' voice stabbed Hoseok in the heart and he hugged the other tightly, sniffling. He had never felt so wholly accepted in his life. Finally, someone else knew his secret.


	5. Chapter 5: Bangtan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone dies. Temporarily. 
> 
> Things are better than good actually.

CHAPTER 5: _ **ALBUM REFERENCES**_

  
Seokjin held Hoseok tightly in his arms, petting his hair in what he hoped was a comforting way. He didn't know how he could really help him other than just by being there for him. "Hoseok-ah.." He said softly, pulling back to look the other in the eyes. "You are not alone. As long as we are all together here, you will never walk alone."

  
Tears stung at Hoseoks' eyes as he stared up at the eldest, taking every word to heart. Seokjin continued, pressing a kiss to Hoseoks' head gently in a comforting manner. "We are your wings, and you are ours. Without a part of ourselves, we can not fly. So please, remain here so that we can all be whole." He said gently, wiping away Hoseoks' tears.

  
Hoseok flushed a dark red, a small smile on his face as he jokingly pushed Seokjin away. "You shouldn't say things like this, hyung. I might fall for you." He grinned, though he knew that Seokjin knew he was feeling a lot better now.

  
Seokjin patted Hoseoks' head and moved past him to the stove. "I'm beginning dinner prep. Would you ask Jungkook to come help me, please~?" Hoseok nodded, grabbing the youngest and pointing him towards the kitchen. Jungkook grumbled under his breath and made his way to the kitchen, helping Seokjin out anyway.

  
Hoseok made his way to the room he shared with Yoongi and entered slowly, not expecting the man to be sitting on the bed with a horrified look on his face. Quickly, Hoseok rushed to his side, having never seen Yoongi show any real emotion. "Yah.... Yoongi-Hyung.... Are you okay?" He sat beside him, wrapping his arms around him in a comforting manner.

  
Yoongi was trembling. "No... My clock.." Hoseok looked down at his wrist, noting that the numbers were jumping and dropping wildly. His eyes widened. "What the hell does this mean??" He asked, wondering if he should call for someone. Yoongi shrugged, biting his lip. He hated showing emotion, but his heart was on a roller coaster right now. "Call Namjoon in here. He's a textbook genius, right? Maybe he knows.." He said softly, his voice sounding distant to himself. He barely registered Hoseok screaming for Namjoon.

  
It wasn't just Namjoon that came. Everyone was now in the room, staring at this anomaly. They were all focused on Yoongi that they didn't see Hoseoks' horrified look at everyones' wrists. "Guys.... It's not just Yoongi.." He said quietly. Everyone immediately looked to their wrists, seeing the same. Which was odd, considering all of the rest already had hit zero, but now they were all jumping from Zero to 6 days.

  
It was odd, to say the least. "What could this mean...?" Hoseok asked Namjoon quietly. He didn't need to see if his was doing the same. He didn't have one.

  
Namjoon started to pace, worrying his lip between his teeth. He had read about this once, but he can't exactly remember. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket, searching up the situation. Suddenly, the breath was knocked out of him and he fell to his knees. "No way..." Seokjin rushed to his side, worried. He took the phone from Namjoon and read over the site, his face paling.

  
Yoongi couldn't take it. "What??? What is it damnit?! Did someone die!?" He was panicking, but everyone knew that if your soulmate died, your clock would be stuck. Not.... whatever this was.

  
Seokjin shook his head. "No... When your clock does this... It means that.. two people with a clock anomaly are about to meet.." His breath hitched and he looked over at Hoseok, who seemed very confused. "And.... one of them will die."

  
\---

  
The words didn't reach Hoseok right away. No. He needed to act. He rushed over and snatched the phone away from Seokjin, reading the article over.

 

_-Clock anomalies-_

  
_Clock anomalies are very rare. Clock anomalies are the absence of a soulmate counter or an excess of soulmate counters. The most have been 15 clocks on one person._

  
_Excess of counters are not nearly as rare as having no soul counter._

  
_Having no soulmate counter does not mean that one does not have a soulmate, but rather, there may be more than one person. If this is the case, it will take having every soulmate in the same room as the person without a counter for theirs to finally appear.These people will have had at least one dream about all of their soulmates._

  
_Whenever an anomaly meets all of their soulmate(s), a clock will not appear, per se, but rather, a single number. The number will signify how many people belong to the anomaly._

  
_However, this is not always the case. Some have gone their entire lives without a single soulmate dream and are believed to have not had a soulmate._

  
_In the event that these two anomalies should meet, a death will happen. For some reason that science has yet to explain (as these conditions are still very rare) two anomalies near one another will cause the weakest to collapse._

  
_The weakest dies every time. There is no known cure and the reason for this is still unknown._

  
_The weakest is usually the one with no soulmate waiting for them. If you are an anomaly and you have survived an encounter like this, you have at least one soulmate._

  
_If someone nearby has already found their soulmate(s) or is still waiting, their soulmate counter will begin to rapidly change numbers. The cause for this is not known, but there is no real lasting damage. Just emotional trauma._

 

  
_If someone with an anomaly has found their soulmate(s) They are unaffected by the presence of another anomaly._   
_From the time the clocks start to rapidly change numbers, it will take less than hour for the two anomalies to meet._

 

  
\---End---

  
Hoseok felt his stomach tighten up. He couldn't breathe. He was panicking, but he turned to look at Yoongi, voice quiet. "...When..... did this start...?" He asked, feeling oddly light headed. Yoongi was watching him in horror. "....About fourty minutes ago."

  
There was a knock at the main door, causing everyone to jump. They slowly exited the bedroom, just in case the manager was at the door. Seokjin opened the door, Hoseok right behind him.

  
On the other side of the door was a young woman, staring at Seokjin. "Damnit... I must have the wrong dorm again. Sor-" Her eyes locked with Hoseoks'. "Is he...?" She didn't get to finish her sentence, eyes rolling back. She collapsed, causing Seokjin to rush forward, a little scream leaving him. His scream was drowned out by Namjoons'.

  
Hoseok was watching the interaction with a small smile. They had made Yoongi get up for no reason. He could hear him grumbling and honestly, it was a bit funny. He peered over Seokjin at the girl at the door and immediately regretted it. Splitting pain filled him suddenly, though he couldn't make a sound. His eyes began to roll back and he swore he heard her say something and then Namjoon say something louder, but just like that, the world became dark and he felt nothing.

  
\---

  
This was the second time Hoseok woke up in a hospital with no clue what was going on. This time, his bedside was crowded with 7 different people. Wait.... Seven? He let out a low groan, drawing the attention of everyone near him. "What...." His voice was gravelly, like he hadn't used it in days. Namjoon handed him a glass of water, making everyone be quiet for Hoseoks' sake.

  
Hoseok got a sense of deja vu and drank his water slowly, closing his eyes and trying to get a grip of the situation. "What... happened?" He asked quietly, finally opening his eyes. What he saw, he never expected. Jun-Hong was at his side, holding his hand tightly, as though he never wanted to let go. "You.....You died.." He choked out, burying his face in Hoseoks' chest while Daehyun pat his back gently.

  
Hoseoks' brow furrowed, looking around the room, staring up at the faces of his dormmates. Everyone looked like hell, even emotionless Yoongi. "Then..... how am I here?" He asked to no one in particular,though he was surprised when Taehyung spoke up. "You've been on life support for a few days.. You actually died several times, but... the other girl... Yoo-ri.. Hers stayed out." He said slowly, helping Hoseok understand.

  
He wanted to feel bad. He did. But at the moment, all Hoseok could think was what the article had said. The survivors had a soulmate. Or more. He smiled brightly at everyone and when they smiled back, the picture clicked. His dream. There was a pair of lips missing, but he finally remembered what had been tugging at his mind... which caused him to start sobbing.

  
Jun-Hong held him close, though he was very confused. "....Hoseok-Hyung.... Why are you crying???" He asked the trembling man, petting his hair gently. "I....I'm so sorry Jun-Hong..." Hoseok sobbed into his friend. "I shouldn't have pushed you away... I'm so sorry..." He knew he was ruining Jun-Hongs' shirt, but the other just shook his head. "I never hated you for it. I've always considered you my best friend." He said softly. "Besides.... I'm not Jun-Hong anymore. I go by Zelo now. Company picked it."

  
Hoseok laughed a little at that, remembering Jun-Hongs old cat Zelo. "Really Zelo?" Jun-Hong shook his head as Hoseok wiped at his tears. "Zelo..." The name was odd on his tongue, but if his friend wanted to be called after his old cat, then he would do so. "Remember that dream I had...?" He asked, sniffling still. Zelo nodded. Hoseok gestured his hand around the room, pointing at all of his dormmates, who were smiling so happily that Hoseok was finally awake.

  
Zelo studied them all carefully, remembering the descriptions Hoseok had given him that day. They were all exactly perfect... minus one. "One is missing.." He said aloud to Hoseok, who gave a knowing nod. "We have one more person coming to our dorm." He said pointedly. The others are very confused, but figure the conversation was a private one, so they go about their own business. Zelo let out a low sigh, smiling for Hoseok. "That's...... a thing." He laughed, Daehyung and Hoseok joining in.

 

\---

  
Hoseok was taken off of Life support and allowed to go home, but was told to take it easy. Not that he had been taking things hard in the first place. They hadn't been able to start practice yet anyway. As they were leaving, the doctor pulled Hoseok aside for a moment, handing him a phone card. "As your doctor, I am required to give this to you." Hoseok took it and glanced at it. On the card was a number for a suicide hotline. His eyes widened and shot up to look at the doctors' face.   
The doctor rolled his eyes. "You were unconscious. We had to dress you in Hospital attire. We saw your arms. Before you ask, we did not let your friends know. Patient confidentiality. You are an adult. However, we recommend you talk to a therapist."

He said before turning away and continuing with his job, leaving Hoseok standing there awkwardly, phone card in hand.   
He tucked the card into his pocket and followed the boys again, piling into the company van and heading back to the dorms.   
No one left him alone. Hoseok really couldn't blame them. They had all thought he had really died for good. But it was a bit annoying. They kept holding onto him in all the wrong places. His arms were aching and that night when he went to take a shower, he noted that they were bleeding again.

  
\---

  
This was the day. Their final dorm member was arriving. Once he arrived, everyone would start actually training and see if they could all be a group. They all wanted to, so far, but what if this new person was a dick?

  
They were all crowded in the living room, waiting eagerly for the new person to walk through the door. Nerves and tensions were high in the room. Seokjin was fiddling with his phone, Namjoon was nowhere to be seen though, probably in the bathroom, Taehyung was biting his lower lip, Jungkook was bouncing his leg, but Yoongi... as always, was sleeping. Hoseok was fidling with his sleeve, his arms still stinging from where he had cleaned them that morning.

  
The doorknob turned and the room went dead silent. Yoongi sat up immediately, his eyes serious. His clock was counting down.

  
Everyone noticed at that moment and began jittering again, this time, excitement coursing through them. On the other side of the door was Yoongis' soulmate.

  
\---

  
The door opened slowly and Yoongi felt the air still. Every thought left him. The male in the door was staring at him just as intensely. His hair was black and his eyes were nearly just as dark. His skin was a beautiful tan and his lips..... Yoongi had to restrain capturing them with his own immediately.

  
The two approached each other slowly, the younger shyly sticking out his hand. "....Park....Park Jimin." He said softly, busan accent thick. Yoongi grinned widely and pulled him close, Daegu accent thick with emotion. "Min Yoongi!"

  
The two held each other for a moment until Namjoon left the bathroom, entering the room. A long list of curses left Hoseoks' lips at that moment, holding his arm dearly.

  
Hoseok clearly hadn't know that this was going to be a painful process. No wonder babies cried at birth when their clocks began to appear. It fucking hurt. Seokjin was at his side, worried that something had happened. "Hoseok-ah? Are you alright??" The panic in his voice was clear.

  
Slowly, the pain faded and Hoseok again began to sob, a happy and fulfilling feeling in his body. He was crying in bliss. The others were looking at him like he was insane. It wasn't until Seokjin had enough of Hoseoks' unresponsiveness and pulled up the youngers' sleeve a bit did he notice the black number. '6'.

  
The room went eerily quiet, other than Hoseoks' happy sobbing.

  
Jungkook spoke first. "Does that mean what I think it does?"

  
More silence.

  
Namjoon spoke next. "Yeah.... We're all Hoseoks' soulmates it seems..." They sounded very monotone. Obviously this must be a big shock for everyone.

Especially Hoseok, who thought he was doomed to be alone.

Forever.


	6. Chapter 6 : Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I went into a little bit of detail about the events of Chapter 2. That part is in bold. Skip if you are uncomfortable. 
> 
> \---NOTE: Sorry. I know Hoseok is an innocent and happy butterfly but like... Y'all know what you were signing up for if you read my tags .-.
> 
> Also, a lot of the dark shit happening is similar -not the same- to some shit I've been through, and it helps me get through it to write about it a little.
> 
> Everything is in black and italics, so skip it if it makes you uncomfortable to read about it.

_**CHAPTER 6: TW: Explaining what happened to Hoseok** _

  
_**TW: Rape -I had to stop being so detailed. I just couldn't continue. Forgive me. I wrapped it up instead.-** _

  
Hoseok was left alone. He didn't entirely understand why everyone had quietly left the room without a word to him, and he would be lying if he said it didn't hurt, but he could also understand a bit. They were obviously in shock and needed time to think.

  
He wanted to be angry at them, but he couldn't find it within himself. He was honestly just so happy that he didn't have to be alone anymore. He felt whole for once.

  
He had called his mom right after he was alone and had spent nearly two hours trying to keep her from crying. Then she had told his father and they had all become a sobbing mess. His parents had admitted to him that they hadn't supported his dream to dance, but were now regretful, as it had helped him find his soulmates.

  
Hoseok was surprised, but he forgave them all the same, making them promise to go to at least one of his concerts a year if he debuts. They agreed eagerly, if only out of the knowledge that they would be seeing their son. He had asked about his older sister, but they had just said that she was attending a school in Seoul, nothing else.

  
Hoseok asked about the school and they reluctantly gave it to him, but warned him against talking to her. They usually had a really close relationship, so he couldn't understand at all why they wouldn't want him to talk with his sister, but he promised them that he wouldn't talk to her if she didn't want him to.

 

Didn't mean he wouldn't try though.

  
Hoseok left his room and grabbed his coat, noting that the boys were still not back, though it was only 3pm. Sighing, he went into the kitchen and took the pink notepad that Seokjin usually wrote groceries on, and ripped the top sheet off, pocketing the grocery list,and writing on a new sheet that he would be back later and would pick up groceries on his way back, but that they shouldn't wait up for him.

  
He left the note on the table and put his shoes on, slipping out of the dorm.

  
\---

  
It was rather chilly outside, the air having a bite to it. It reminded him of the day Jun- ah.. Zelo and he became friends. It made him love this weather, even though he preferred spring time. He wrapped his coat around himself tighter and pulled on his beanie that he had stuffed in his pocket. His ear poked out a little, but he didn't mind. It felt uncomfortable for the beanie to cover his ears anyway.

  
\---

  
Within a few minutes, Hoseok found himself in front of a College, having gotten off of the bus in a hurry. He hadn't seen his sister since he moved to Seoul, and now she was here. Not to see him, but he wanted to make sure she was okay. She was older than him, but usually treated him as if he was a friend and not a brother. He preferred it that way. They told each other... almost everything.

  
He had to wait 10 minutes for school to let out, but he spotted her easily. It was hard to forget what his sister looked like, after all. He ran over to her, a face splitting grin on. "Da-Won Noona~!" He called out gleefully, standing in front of her.  
She smiled back at him, though it didn't reach her eyes. She was with friends. "Ah... Hoseok-ah. What are you doing here?" She asked with a clipped voice.

"I wanted to see you! Mom and dad told me you were here!" He chirped out, still grinning.

  
"They did....? I told them not to." Her face slipped into a grimace and she waved her friends off, telling them she would catch up in a little bit. Hoseok felt his own grin falter, confusion written on his face. She sighed. "You are such an open book. You really can't tell why I don't want to see you?" She glared, hands on her hips. A pose she normally took up when she was patronizing him.

  
His blood boiled, but he shook his head, staring at her. "No... Last we spoke, we were still pretty close." He said softly, wondering what could have possibly changed. She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I was never close to you, idiot. I only sat with you during lunches because it made boys think I was sensitive to how much of a freak you are or something."

  
The words pierced him as painfully as if she had just used a knife. "..N-Noona..... why are you saying these things?" His eyes stung, but he blinked them back. Someone had to be making her say these things. Someone had to be controlling her. Maybe an alien was in her brain, like Taehyung said happened to some people. His sister would never say these things. "Because, you fucking idiot.." She started, leaning in really close. "You are a freak. I can't be seen with you anymore! I have a life and a soulmate now!"

  
She spat at him, pulling back and smirking at the crushed look on his face. He shook his head, trying to push her words out by force. "But.... But I have a soulmate!" He said, rolling up his sleeve a little and showing the number. "I have six of them!!" He said, desperately trying to prove that he wasn't a freak. It didn't work. Her face twisted in disgust. "So.... You went from being a lonely freak to being a multi-soulmate whore? Yeah. Reaaaallll upgrade."

  
His reply died on his lips, not trusting his voice at this point anymore. His breath hitched and he almost started at the hot that dripped down his cheeks, intense against the cold air around them. She sighed. "You know, I would have prefered you to die alone. That way if you got raped again, you wouldn't have to waste anyone elses time with your recovery, but lookie... Now you have six other people to protect you~! Isn't that great?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm and malice, but at the paleness that suddenly filled Hoseok, she realized her slip up.

  
"That's right!" She squeaked almost gleefully. "You didn't remember that incident!!!" She pushed Hoseok roughly, causing him to fall onto the ground painfully. "God, you are so weak. You are so ugly, but people always want you. Every time you are in the hospital, people surround your bed." She spit on him. "You make me sick! Why would anyone ever want you, other than to just use you and throw you away!?" She screamed, drawing attention from people still leaving the school.

  
Hoseok was shaking, memories hitting him one after another. No one had told him what had happened, but he had always wondered. Now that the truth had been laid out for him, he was starting to remember. He needed to get out of there. He scrambled to his feet, hot tears still spilling down his cheeks as he ran away. "That's right!!" He could hear his sister shouting. "Run away from your problems like you always do, Jung Hoseok!!!!"

  
\---

  
_**It was dark inside of the underground, Hoseok stood against the wall. A handsome man in a suit approached him carefully, holding himself well. Hoseok didn't really want to talk, but he scooted over, allowing the man to approach. It seemed that talking, however, was exactly what the man wanted. With a sigh, he turned to face him, not wanting to be rude. The man introduced himself as 'Shin', a scout for some entertainment company in Daegu.** _

  
_**He praised Hoseok for his dancing skills and mentioned that he wanted to scout him. Hoseok, being so innocent back then had eagerly agreed, feeling his dreams finally come to fruition. "I... Yes!" He said happily. The man grinned back and nodded at the door. "Great! I just need you to do some paperwork, and then we'll be good to go!"** _

  
_**Hoseok nodded and followed him out of the underground easily, stepping into the night air with a sigh. "So... Where are we going, hyung?" He asked casually, following closely. "We're going to my hotel." Shin answered quickly. "The paperwork is upstairs, as I am only here for a few weeks before heading back to Daegu." He explained and it made perfect sense to Hoseok, other than the fact that he didn't know of any companies in Daegu. Maybe just the head of the company was there?** _

  
_**They entered the Hotel and entered the elevator. Hoseok was a nervous wreck, but managed to keep it down. He didn't notice the growing tent the other had. Or if he did, he said nothing. The room was only a few steps away and it didn't take long to enter. Hoseok took off his shoes and stepped into the room, looking around with an awestruck face. The room was gorgeous.** _

  
_**This room had a view of a lake nearby, and the carpet was a plush red, so soft that he wanted to throw himself onto it. The bed took up a large portion of the room, and it too looked soft enough to get lost in.** _

  
_**Near to the door was a desk and two chairs, probably meant to be a dining table. The kitchen was just off of that, so it wasn't a hard clue to put together. Past the bed was a small corridor that led to what he figured was the bathroom.** _   
_**Hoseok took a seat at the small table, waiting for the paperwork to be given, smiling brightly. "Water?" Shin asked calmly, pouring himself a cup. Hoseok nodded and eagerly took a cup, gulping it down quickly. He realized too late that the water tasted a little odd. "Wha...?" He asked, head spinning.** _

  
_**He was so dizzy, and tried to stand. He nearly fell if it hadn't been for Shin catching him. He felt himself being picked up and tossed onto a very soft surface. He realized with a delay that this was the bed. He wanted to giggle at how he had guessed right and the bed was incredibly soft, but his lips were currently pre-occupied.** _

  
_**He gasped and a tongue slipped past his lips. He wasn't too far gone though, pushing Shin away with as much strength as he could gather, which, admittedly wasn't much. "No..." His voice came out, meaning to sound strong, but instead sounded desperate and weak. "Please don't-AH!" He yelped as a hand began to palm at him. "Don't touch that!!"** _   
_**A dark laugh reached his ears and he fought the urge to shrink in fear. "You're telling me to stop... but you're this hard already."** _

  
_**Hoseok fought as much as he could. He screamed for help until his voice was raw. He clawed and fought until Shin was bloody and his own arms were tied behind his back. So he kicked until his legs were tied. So he bit until a dirty sock was shoved in his mouth. And he sobbed. And Sobbed. And watched. Until the pain made him black out.** _

  
_**-Namjoon POV:** _

  
_**They had reached the hotel, running up to the desk and hurriedly calling over the desk lady. Jun-Hong showed her a photo of the boy who had entered and she told them the room number, not wanting to argue with the hulking figure behind Jun-Hong.** _

  
_**They ran into the elevator and pushed the button. Jun-Hong was spam** _ _**pressing the button too much, so Namjoon took his hand gently, pulling it away from the buttons. "Pressing harder will not make the elevator go faster." He said softly, waiting.** _

  
_**Jun-Hong muttered something under his breath, but Namjoon ignored it. The doors opened and they ran to the room door, ready to knock until they heard him. Hoseok sobbing and begging. It was muted, but they could still hear it.** _   
_**Jun-Hong began banging on the door, but Namjoon could guess what was happening. It happened many times. He pushed Jun-Hong out of the way and kicked the door in, rushing over to where the two were, ripping Shin off of the boy, who had just blacked out. Namjoon had the man on the ground, pummeling his face into a pulp as Jun-Hong began to hurriedly untie Hoseoks' body.** _

  
_**Jun-Hong was sobbing, ripping the offending things away from Hoseok and tossing them to the side. He pulled the sock out of Hoseoks' mouth and cradled him, though a quiet whimper made him stop. He glanced at the red between Hoseoks' legs and felt himself snap. He gently set Hoseok down and walked over to Namjoon, pulling him off and taking his place. Shin was screaming for mercy, but Jun-Hong had no mercy for the likes of this scum. Jun-Hong fought him until Shin stopped moving.** _

  
_**The two wrapped Hoseok in a sheet as Hotel security arrived. They took one look at the situation and began escorting the three to the hospital. The other man? Went straight to jail with no medical treatment.** _   
_**Namjoon and Jun-Hong were relieved when Hoseok awoke a few days later with no idea what had happened. It was better this way.** _

  
\--

  
The memories barraged into him and Hoseok felt himself losing air. He stumbled until he couldn't walk anymore, curling into a ball in this abandoned building he had stumbled across, screaming and sobbing into his knees. He remembered now. He remembered everything, and it was ripping him apart. He had always figured, ever since he saw those bruises, but he never had any proof. Now he did.

  
He was screaming again, shouting again, for someone to help him. He was reliving the memories, screaming and crying in the emotional agony he was now in.

  
\--

The boys were back at the dorm now, but Seokjin was pacing. It was already 3am and they had been back since 7pm.

Meaning, Hoseok had left before then, and was still gone. They had been waiting for him, even though he said not to.

  
Namjoon was pacing as well, but the worry was far clearer on his face and in his actions. Jungkook had tried to get him to calm down a little, but Namjoon had just pushed him away, breathless. "You don't understand.." He had said.

  
When the time hit 4am, Taehyung had tried calling Hoseok again, crying out when he recieved an answer. "GUYS!!! HE ANSWERED!!!" The others rushed around immediately, having not slept at all. Taehyung put the phone on speaker and their happiness all died at hearing the faint crying and whimpering on the other end of the line.

  
"Hoseok?" Namjoon said, voice wavering.

  
"I remember... I remember, Namjoon..." The broken voice said.

 


	7. Chapter 7: Of Ice and Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok looses himself. The others will always be there for him.

_**Chapter 7: Of Ice and Fire** _

  
"I remember... I remember, Namjoon..." The broken voice said from the other side of the phone, causing Namjoons' heart to leap up into his throat. The others looked at him questioningly, but he just shook his head.

Now was not the time. "Hoseok. Where are you?" His voice came out a bit gruffly. He couldn't imagine how badly Hoseok was suffering right now.

  
\--

  
Hoseok gripped his phone so tightly that his knuckles were beginning to turn white. If it hurt, he couldn't feel it. Namjoons' voice coming through the phone was like a lifeline for him at the moment, the deep undertones washing over him and calming him a little. "I...I don't know... I don't know.." He started to repeat, a sharp sob ripping itself from his throat, holding himself tighter.

  
Namjoons' voice came out strained this time, though it still made Hoseok feel a little comfort. "C-Can you.... turn on your GPS...?" Duh. Hoseok hadn't even though of that. "I....I can.." He said through another wave of sobbing, exiting the call and going to his settings. He turned the GPS on and sent the location to Taehyungs' phone.

  
He still had no idea where he was, but as he looked at the location on his phone, he realized he was a lot further out than he had originally thought. He was just on the outskirts of Seoul. That explained the lack of noise and the overabundance of stars.   
He knew he needed to get out of this abandoned house, not sure what could be in there. Though, with how long he had been in there, there was no way he didn't inhale whatever bad had been in there anyway.

  
Regardless, he weakly stood, a hand over his mouth to mute the sobs as he walked slowly out of the house. Did he really want them to find him? Especially like this? He wasn't sure. He was supposed to be happy. Always. Especially for them. He couldn't let them see him be weak.

  
He steeled himself and dropped his phone on the porch, slowly tredging towards the forest. He loved them so much.. the thought of losing himself and leaving them was already hurting him, but he knew he would be back. He just.... He couldn't allow them to see him so.... so...

  
Broken.

  
\--  
By the time the boys reached the abandoned house, Hoseok was nowhere to be found. Seokjin had left the car first, running into the building to find him. Taehyung had been right behind him, though he stopped at the porch, the silver of Hoseoks' phone catching his eye. "Guys..." He said softly, picking up the phone. "He's not here."

  
Yoongi stormed over, taking the phone rather roughly. "What the hell-?? I'm gonna kill that kid!" He growled out, pocketing Hoseoks' phone and taking out his own. He switched on the flashlight and pointed it at the ground. It had been a gloomy day earlier, so the ground was a little wet still. He moved the light around until he found a very distinct shoe print in the mud. 

He started following it when he realized that no one else was coming. Yoongi turned, anger on his face. He was partially pissed because it was already beginning to be dawn, he had no sleep, and Namjoon was still refusing to tell him what had happened. "Are you guys fucking coming or not?! It will take forever for me to find Hoseok on my own in this fucking forest, now LETS GO." He yelled at them, watching as they all slowly took out their own phones, following behind Yoongi. "Fuckin' right." Yoongi huffed out, following the prints into the forest.

  
\--

  
Hoseok walked and walked, ignoring the cold of the night biting at his cheeks. He didn't have to look at a clock to know that it was probably around 5:30am and would be light soon. He just kept walking for as far as he could, not really paying attention to the world around him.

  
The snow began to fall slowly at first, stunning Hoseok. The news hadn't reported any snow for this week. He pulled his jacket around him tighter, stumbling through the forest. His feet were numb and his tears had finally stopped, but he was still hurting everywhere.

  
The snow began to fall heavily now and his eyes began to droop. He was exhausted. He had no sleep, and had been walking for hours. His feet were numb and he wouldn't be surprised if they were actually bleeding. He trudged a few more steps, as best as he could allow before unconsciousness swallowed him.

  
\--

  
"Hey guys.... Maybe we should head back.... call the police or something.." Jungkook said softly through chattering teeth. They had been searching for half an hour in the heavily pouring snow and Yoongi was getting frustrated. Hoseoks tracks were being covered.

  
Yoongi rounded on him, his teeth bared. "Yeah? Maybe you should go back on your own, coward! Do you see how heavy it is snowing!? Hoseok is still out there and by the time the police get here, it might be too late. Do you want Hoseoks' blood on your hands!?" He growled and started storming off quickly.

Namjoon caught up to him and grabbed his shoulder gently. "Yoongi...hyung, breathe. We all want to find him."

  
Seokjin watched, wanting to step in, but also knowing Yoongi was right, even if the way he said it was not. He approached Jungkook and slung an arm around his shoulder with a comforting smile. Jungkook sniffed and nodded, continuing forward. 

Taehyung was the only to notice Jimin staying behind. "Yah... Jimin-ah.. What are you...?" He trailed off, noting the large lump that Jimin was staring at. Jimin moved forward, his body telling him to move before he could think about it. He shuffled to the lump and placed his hand on it. It was obviously very cold and covered in snow, and Jimin almost wondered if it was a rock, if the lump hadn't whimpered.

  
A gasp tore itself from Jimin and he shouted. "GUYS! I THINK I FOUND HIM!!!!" He started pushing the snow off of the lump, revealing a blue lipped Hoseok. The others rushed over as fast as the snow would allow. Jimin was already at work trying to warm up Hoseoks' face. Namjoon shook his head and lifted Hoseok onto his back, wincing at the cold pressing into him.   
Seokjin was already panicking, his phone out. "No reception.. .fuck!" He cursed, biting his perfect nails. "We need to take him to a hospital or something!!"

Namjoon shook his head, already walking. "Too long. He'll catch hypothermia by then." Taehyung piped up. "I spotted a cabin about ten minutes ago, that way!" He said pointing back to where they came. "It looked like it still might be used... but no one was there, so I didn't say anything.."

  
Jungkook patted Taehyungs shoulder, as Yoongi told him.. well... more like ordered him to lead the way. It took less than ten minutes, as they were all running through the snow, before they reached the cabin. Yoongi kicked in the frozen lock and they all collapsed inside. Namjoon set Hoseok down on a bearskin rug, looking around briefly before setting his eyes on the fully stocked fireplace.

  
Yoongi stole a few bricks of wood, effectively keeping the door closed again before heading over and helping Namjoon start a fire. Namjoon began to bark out orders to everyone, giving them something to do other than stand around panicking. "Seokjin! Start making soup for everyone. We need to warm up our insides. Jungkook! Find blankets, anything heavy and warm! Taehyung! Look for a medkit! Jimin! Start stripping Hoseok! His clothes are soaked and they need to dry!" He ordered, getting up to find something to help the fire start.

 

  
\--

  
Seokjin ran to the kitchen, looking for anything and everything he could to make the soup. He found cans of chicken broth and figured that was good enough. They would definitely have to repay the cabin owners at some point. Seokjin turned on the gas and began to cook immediately, searching around for some vegetables while the broth warmed up. He found some carrots and decided that was all they really needed. He felt bad about using other peoples' food. He chopped the carrots carefully, not wanting to cut off his fingers in his panic.

  
The carrots were placed into the broth and soon, his bland creation was done. He knew it wouldn't taste the best, but the taste wasn't important... at least right now. He would spend a few days perfecting this at home.   
He moved fluidly around the kitchen, finding seven bowls and spoons. He had just finished filling them up when he heard a gasp come from Jimin in the living room.

  
\--

  
Jungkook took off the moment the order reached his ears. He ran around the cabin as though he had just had 30 energy drinks. He gathered every blanket and comforter he could find. He knew they wouldn't be sleeping in the rooms. To be honest, the rooms were colder than outside was.

  
Anytime he gathered too much, he would run into the living room, drop his pile, and run out again. He was very worried for Hoseok, biting his lip as he thought. Would Hoseok die? He was so pale... and blue.. Jungkook forced the thoughts from his head. He was still breathing and that is what mattered.

  
He heard Jimins' startled gasp come from the living room and ran as fast as he could with arms full.

  
\--

  
Taehyung took off slower, carefully managing to stay out of the way of his troubled boyfriend. He also knew better than to try to calm him down at the moment and just let him cope the way he could. Taehyung found the bathroom and immediately started pulling cabinets open, easily finding the medical box.

  
Tucking the box under his arm, he made his way to the living room, carefully avoiding looking over to where Jimin was undressing Hoseok. He knew it was a safety thing, but it felt... wrong.. looking at his body without his permission. Taehyung handed Namjoon the box, though turned quickly at the sound of Jimins' gasp, worry on his face.

  
\--

  
Namjoon tried his hardest to bring the fire to life, but groaned and got up, heading around the house to find anything that could start the fire. Yoongis' lighter just wasn't enough. He searched every closet he could find until the box of Firestarter appeared, a small cry of victory escaping his lips.

  
He hurried back over to Yoongi and handed him the box, allowing the pyro to handle the fire on his own. He began to think of what needed to be done when Taehyung approached him suddenly with the medical kit, thanking him.   
He turned suddenly at Jimins' sharp gasp, his eyes widening at what he saw. "What..."

  
\--

  
Yoongi sat at the fireplace, silently begging his lighter to be able to produce a bigger flame. Namjoon left his side with a groan and mumbled something about a fire starter. Yoongi sat back and waited, listening to the squeak of Jungkooks' shoes as the younger ran around, listening to the clanging in the kitchen as Seokjin started cooking, listening to the groan of wood as Namjoon not so kindly tore apart closets.

  
He only relaxed when Namjoon managed to come up with firestarter. He took the small box and took a piece out, placing it under the wood and lighting it. The starter caught almost immediately and the wood right after that. The living room was already beginning to heat up. Proud of himself, he sat back, only turning quickly when Jimin gasped. "Babe, what's wrong...?" He stopped as he took in the sight before him.

  
\--

  
Jimin sat in front of Hoseok, but looked up at Namjoon while he was still giving out orders. "Uhm.... How.... undressed does he need to be...exactly..?" He asked, a light blush on his cheeks. Namjoon sighed. "Depending on how wet his underwear is...." The eldest turned to help Yoongi with the fire.

  
Jimin nodded and began his work. He pulled Hoseok out of his coat first, tossing it near the fire. It was soaked. Jimin grimaced as he pulled Hoseoks' beanie off, tossing it aside as well and smoothing out the hair that stuck out. Jimin then took off Hoseoks' shoes and socks, setting them aside as well.

  
Hoseoks' feet were so cold.. Jimin took a moment just to heat them up with his hands. They were swollen and bruised, but thankfully there was no damage. Perhaps the cold helped them. Jimin next removed Hoseoks' jeans, tossing them in the corner. He leaned over, running his fingers on the fabric of Hoseoks' boxers. They were wet.

  
His cheeks filled with heat as he peeled them off slowly, quickly covering Hoseok with a blanket. He was so thankful he hadn't seen it. That would have been a little too much info for the day.

  
He next took off Hoseoks' shirt, though what he saw next made tears spring into his eyes and a harsh gasp leave his lips. Soon, everyone had crowded into the living room too see what Jimin had seen.

  
\--

  
Against the pale of Hoseoks' skin, due to the cold, the angry red lines on his arms were showing a lot clearer. Normally, they would be blending into his normally tan skin. The cold made them stand out a lot more.

  
Namjoon fell to his knees, his breath getting caught in his throat. "Oh my god..." He felt like an awful friend, never having noticed. These were obviously old cuts and he can't remember a time where he felt shittier.

  
Yoongi moved over to Jimin immediately, conforting the now crying boy. Yoongi also felt like shit, not having noticed his roommates' mental state.

  
Taehyung didn't really understand at first, and neither did Jungkook, but at seeing their hyungs' reactions, the two had to bite back sobs of their own. When they heard Jimins' broken question though, they broke.

  
"Why.....why would he try to kill himself...??" Jimin had sobbed, the other two echoing him.

  
Seokjin was the only one without a reaction as he approached them, taking the med kit from Namjoon and immediately working on cleaning the wounds out again and bringing Hoseok closer to the fire. His calm voice is what snapped everyone back. "Food is on the table. Eat."

  
The youngers left, but Yoongi stayed behind. He level Seokjin with a look that made his hair stand up, though he pointedly ignored him. Yoongi cleared his throat, continuing to glare. "How long have you known about this?" He hissed out quietly.

  
Seokjin sighed, pulling Hoseoks' head into his lap near the fire. "Since our clocks were acting up. He begged me not to tell anyone. He said he was working on stopping." He said softly, gently petting Hoseoks' hair. "He promised to talk to me next time he was having those thoughts.." He looked Yoongi in the eyes, his own sad.

  
Yoongi sighed and turned his head away, unable to take the puppy eyes. "You still should have told us.... What if he had been walking around to kill himself? We would have been searching harder..." He said stubbornly, but Seokjin shook his head.

"Looking hard doesn't mean looking well. If we had all been focused on following you to find Hoseok, Jimin may have never found him. I don't think Hoseok was trying to kill himself today. I don't know what happened to him, but it sounded pretty bad... I'm sure he was in shock." Seokjin explained logically. "Go eat, Yoongi." He nudged the raven haired boy with his foot, who reluctantly got up.

After a few minutes, Namjoon took Seokjins' place, allowing the eldest to go eat.

  
\--

  
Hours passed. It was roughly around midday and the snow had yet to let up. The boys were unable to get in contact with the company to let them know where they were and they wouldn't be surprised if a search party was out looking for them.

  
\--

  
Around 3pm, a raspy coughing woke them. They had all finally managed to get some sleep, all piling around Hoseok and the fire, trapping the heat in between them all. They woke suddenly, seeing the shirtless boy sitting up and coughing heavily.   
Immediately Seokjin ran into the kitchen to heat up the soup. Namjoon was at Hoseoks' side in an instant, putting another blanket around his shoulders.

  
\--

  
Hoseok groaned as light his his eyes, his body shivering. He knew immediately that he was naked and doubled over, covering himself and coughing harder. He nearly screamed when a blanket was dropped over him, but relaxed at seeing Namjoon... only to tense again when he saw the look that not only Namjoon had, but everyone else did as well. He knew they had seen.

  
He opened his mouth to speak, but Yoongi silenced him. "You can explain later. Save your voice." His voice was hard, but his face was only worried. Hoseok nodded and took the soup gratefully from Seokjin, sipping it slowly. When he felt he could speak without sandpaper working on his throat, he explained... everything. From the very beginning.

  
By the end, Jimin was sobbing and hugging Hoseok tightly, the bowl forgotten beside them. Taehyung joined in and soon it became a giant group hug. Hoseok laughed lightly, happy that everyone still loved him. "You guys..." He said softly when they started to pull away. "You... You didn't have to care this much.."

  
"Oh shut up hyung." Jungkook laughed, wiping at his own tears. "We're your soulmates. Of course we care about you." He hugged Hoseok again, kissing his cheek.

  
Hoseok turned a dark red color, looking at the ground. "You... all are alright with it?" He asked quietly, an overwhelming 'yes' leaving everyone. Yoongi took Hoseoks hand, his free hand tracing the scars on Hoseoks' arm.

  
"We love you no matter what you've been through, and no matter what we _will_ go through. But no matter what, it will always be together."


	8. Chapter 8: Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not feeling really well today, so short chapter. Sorry. ;~;

Chapter 8:

  
For a moment, Yoongi had thought he had said something wrong, when arms were wrapped around his throat and gentle lips were on his. He leaned into the kiss gently, though pulled back when he tasted salt. Hoseok was crying again. Yoongi laughed breathlessly and rubbed Hoseoks' back gently. "Breathe...." He murmured against his ear, patting his back.

  
When Hoseok had gathered himself together again, he sat back, close to the fire. He was still a little blue in some places, but thanks to Seokjins' cooking, and the fire that Namjoon and Yoongi kept going, he was able to start warming up faster.

  
"So...." He started, cheeks heating up. "....Why am I naked? Who undressed me?" He asked suddenly, causing Jimin to choke on his food. "Alright, found who undressed me, but why?" Hoseok asked again, smirking at Jimin, who blushed furiously and looked away. Namjoon explained the situation and how close Hosoek had been to severe hypothermia and the issue was dropped.

Almost.

  
Hoseok looked Jimin dead in the eyes when he could. "Did you.... Did you look at my.....ah.." Jimins' eyes couldn't have gone any wider. "NO! No. No. Nononononono. I put a blanket over you before I even had your boxers off all the way!" He defended himself quickly, face as red as a cherry.

  
Hoseok laughed loudly, a sound that the others had missed deeply. "Yahhh..... No need to be so adamant. A simple 'no' would have done. Unless..." He started moving the blankets, teasing. "You wanna see it~?" He waggled his eyebrows and laughed harder at Jimins' scandalized face. "I'm just messing around." He grinned, sitting back down.

  
Jimin could have sword that Hoseoks' smile could rival the sun itself. "Though..." Hoseok continued, picking at the blanket. "Could you.... get my clothes please? As much as I love fur brushing against my dick, I would really prefer my clothes back."   
Jimin choked again and ran out of the room to grab Hoseoks' clothes and avoid talking about said hyungs dick anymore. Once Jimin was out of the room, Hoseok sighed, allowing his facade to slip. The others were in the kitchen eating. Honestly, he was happy everyone was around, but at the same time, he still felt like he had to be strong for them.

And Yoongi... he saw right through that bullshit.

  
He got up from the table and plopped down next to Hoseok, taking his hand again. "It's okay to cry, you know." He said softly. "It's okay to not be happy all the time. I mean... I know better than almost anyone here, what you are going through." He spoke, though he didn't look at Hoseok.

  
Jimin entered the room and all but threw Hoseoks' clothes at him, running out of the room again. Hoseok chuckled a bit and started to dress himself, staring down at Yoongi. "How could you possibly?" Hoseok started, but stopped when Yoongi pulled the collar of his shirt down. Very small and hardly noticable scars lined his neck. Once dressed, Hoseok sat beside Yoongi, tracing the scars with his fingers. "How?" Was all he could say. The others at the table were definitely listening in now.

  
Yoongi sighed. "I tried to hang myself when I was a lot younger. Almost succeeded." He shook his head. "I'm on anti-depressants." He held Hoseoks' hand gently. Hoseok squeezed Yoongis' hand, staring down at him. "Do you think...?" Yoongi shook his head. "You don't need medicine for it. Maybe for trauma, but anti-depressants suck. I'm tired, like... 24/7."

  
Seokjin laughed from the kitchen. "Don't blame that on the pills, Yoongi! I've known you since before those and you were still sleeping on everything!" Yoongi blushed and sat up. "YAH. Do you think everyone needs to know that I'm lazy as fuck?" He got up, rushing to the kitchen.

There were sounds of play fighting for a moment, before a sharp yelp and yoongi rushing back into the living room, flopping on the couch. "YOU WIN THIS ROUND." He muffle yelled, earning a victorious laugh from Seokjin.

  
Hoseok inched closer, grinning. "What did he do?" Yoongi gave him a look of disbelief. "You think I'm really gonna tell you??" He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "If you knew, you'd use it every chance you got!" Hoseok flailed and fell back dramatically. "I am actually wounded Min Yoongi! My Heartue is... It's... ahhh.." He fake cried. "I can not believe you don't trust me with something like this. Booohoooooohoooooo..." He peeked an eye open at Yoongi, who was giving him his best are you serious right now face.

  
Hoseok grinned from ear to ear and leaned forward. He gave Yoongi his best puppy face, wiggling his body for extra effect. "Pllleeeaaaasseee?" And Yoongi wanted to show him. He really did. But the fact that the thing was an innapropriate one, he continued to decline until Hoseok gave up with a pout. Yoongi definitely wasn't sure if Hoseok was up for that kind of thing. Especially with all that was going on with him. And he wasn't about to push.

  
\--

  
Later that evening, the snow stopped and Seokjin for reception in his phone. He called the manager and explained the situation as best as he could without giving much away. The situation would be handled and in an hour, they would be picked up.

  
So, with Seokjins' orders, the boys -sans Hoseok- were putting everything back in place. Seokjin wanted the cabin to be as perfect as the day they broke in.

  
\--

  
The drive home was a long one, and for the most part, everyone remained silent. Due to the two days of being missing, other groups had already been formed, so the last 7 were just bunched together, and the boys couldn't be happier.

 

\--

  
When they arrived home, they were told their group name and stage names. That was a fun conversation. "Bulletproof boyscouts..?!" Namjoon had complained. "I mean really?" He groaned. "We're supposed to be a hip hop group! No one is going to take us seriously with a name like that!" The manager shook his head. "There is no changing it. You want people to take you seriously with that name, proove that you guys are the best." And with that, the manager left the room.

  
The boys opened small bags that had been given to them with the promise of their new names. Hoseok went first, and the name he saw nearly made him cry. They had chosen the name he wanted. "I..I got J-Hope!" He grinned over at Namjoon, who clapped him on the shoulder.

"Sweet Dude! You got your underground name!!!" He grinned and then paled, hoping he hadn't gotten his old one. He tore into his bag and groaned. "...really? Literally no one will take me seriously with a name like Rap Monster."

  
He put his face in his hands when Yoongi started laughing. Yoongi opened his next and abruptly shut his mouth. Namjoon looked up in hope that his name wasn't the cringiest. He wasn't let down. "....Fucking Suga." Namjoon roared his laughter.

  
Seokjin rolled his eyes and opened his next, shrugging. It wasn't a huge change. "I got Jin." The others nodded in approval.

Jungkook opened his. "I....I just got my name!!! And a little nickname with it!" He pouted. "Jungkook. Also called Kookie." He pouted more and Jin reached over, pinching his cheeks. "Awwwww, how cute~" Jungkook pushed his hand away stubbornly.

  
Jimin opened his, now worried, but breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone stared at him expectantly as he pulled the paper out. "I got my name. Only my name." He laughed and began to poke at Jungkook teasingly.

Taehyung was the last one to open his, though he stared at it in confusion. "What the hell is the eye part of the face emoji supposed to mean?" He took the paper out and showed the others. Namjoon bit back another howl of laughter as he took the paper and turned it around the right way.

  
Taehyung blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I....knew that. I totally knew it was a 'V'. I was just seeing if you guys could get it!" He licked his lip, a nervous habit. This time, Namjoon did laugh. "Yeah, sure you did."

  
\---

  
The boys got accustomed to their stage names pretty quickly and for the most part used them at home. They really didn't mind which name was used, so they would really just switch it up. Hoseok gathered another nickname from the boys themselves, and they took it upon themselves to call him that instead. "Hobiiiii-hyuuunnnnggg~." Jimin called one morning, causing Hoseok to look at him confused.

  
Jimin grinned. "Hobi sounds like Hope, ya? I'm going to call you Hobi-Hyung now!" Since then, the name kinda stuck.

  
\----  
 _ **Note: Sorry for the short chapter. I'm not feeling well today.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter. Still recovering, but I felt like I needed to get /something/ out.
> 
>  
> 
> \-----   
> UPDATE: 3-16-17
> 
> I suck at writing smut, so I am currently collabing with another writer who can help me. I apologize for the wait. I also have a lot of things going on in my life right now, so the next chapter may not be for a while. This fic is NOT cancelled though. Just put on hold for a little while.

 

_**Chapter 9 :Sorry for the long wait! I am much better now!** _

Months had passed for the boys. They had practiced harder than they ever thought they could. And finally... they were being debuted. Their songs went up and the albums were out, and the boys... well.. they were scared shitless that it would all be for nothing.

  
Even though they were scared though, they all had celebrated. They had meat for the first time in months, and other actually solid food. It was a night filled with cheering and happiness and shared stories. They were all so close, and Hoseok knew this would last forever.

 

Right?

\---------

Suddenly years had passed in what felt like a short time. Hoseok felt all of those days, lived them all with a smile. They had all met so many different people during their years, so many people that now looked up to them.

  
It had been a few weeks since their new song 'Not Today' came out. Kookie was no longer a baby. Everyone was adjusting to that fact, still trying to keep alcohol from him at nights before remembering and apologizing.

  
But... where had the closeness gone?

  
For the past three months, the boys had been distant, only chatting when it was needed, or showing affection on stage. Hoseok knew it was more than likely due to being stressed. He knew this.. but why did he have to make it worse?

  
On the rare days that they had off, Namjoon and Yoongi usually spent their days in their own studios, writing songs. Jimin and Jungkook would spend their days off practicing their dance at the practice room, no matter how much the others said they already had the dance down. Taehyung would spend his days off catching up on anime, not really speaking with anyone other than his hip-hop plush doll. And Jin... He pretty much was everywhere. Delivering food to all of his group members, despite where they were, cleaning, taking care of his skin.

  
No one had time for each other anymore, and Hoseok wasn't exactly helping the situation by leaving the house often to relieve his tensions. He knew they could smell the drink and perfume that clung to his skin, and he knew they hated it. It wasn't like he wanted to go out and pick up strangers, but the others didn't have time for him and to be honest, his hand was no longer enough.

  
\----

  
Hoseok had pushed it too far one night, coming home incredibly drunk... with the needy girl attached at his hip. Yoongi had been the only one up at the moment, and he was absolutely furious. If Hoseok had to guess, he'd say it took less than 5 seconds for Yoongi to get off the couch and toss the poor lady out. Hoseok was ready to protest when a hand came down across his face, stinging and sobering him a bit. "What the fuck, Hoseok?" Yoongi had growled at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

  
Hoseok had just shrugged, rubbing his face and brushing past Yoongi with more force than needed. "'m going to bed." He had slurred out, entering his room and collapsing on the bed.

  
At exactly 8am, he was awoken by an ice cold bucket of water being thrown on him, causing him to shriek and jolt up, eyes wide. "What the hell Seokjin-hyung??" The look on the elders face was definitely one he wouldn't be able to easily forget. Disgust. Betrayal. "Go take a shower, Hoseok. You smell like trash." The elder had stormed off quickly after that, bucket laying on the floor.

  
Hoseok definitely knew he had fucked up when even Taehyung was shooting him daggers from his place at the kitchen table, which made Hoseok toss an arm over his eyes, not wanting to deal with anything at the moment. This was another one of their rare days off, but everyone was at the dorm, everyone but Namjoon, who was on his way back.

  
Hoseok wanted to be happy, that everyone would be finally spending a day together, but worry ate at him from the inside out. Would they even talk to each other then? Would it be heavy with silence? Would it be awkward?

  
His thoughts were disturbed by the main door opening and slamming shut. Hoseok flinched a little at the loudness that clashed with his hangover, but dealt with it. What he couldn't deal with, he found, was the sudden angry presence above him. He lazily looked up, staring up at their leader and his supposed best friend. "Sup." He said casually, as though he hadn't been betraying everyone as a soulmate.

  
\---

  
Namjoon scoffed, his eyes alight with fury. "Sup? Really Hoseok? Fucking explain to me why you've been going out and getting laid every fucking chance you get? Are we not enough for you?? Is this not enough for you??" He practically yelled as he grabbed Hoseoks' wrist, pointing to the beautiful number that still sat there.

  
Hoseok ripped his wrist away and stood, nose to nose with Namjoon. "What I do or do not do is none of your fucking business. You're my soulmate and leader, not my fucking parents." He spat out, pushing Namjoon away and heading for his jacket. He was pulled back harsly and thrown back onto the couch, groaning in pain.

  
Namjoon was above him, furious. "No. You are not going to run away from this like you always do!" Harsh. The words stung more than any physical pain could, reminding him of that day he had gone to visit his sister. "I'm not running away.." He defended himself quickly. "You all are!" He stood again, his eyes stinging and blurring with unshed tears.

  
"I don't know what happened to us, but you are all never home!!! And the two of you who are, are always busy! We never have time for each other and I hate it!" He shouted, finally able to unleash what he had been keeping inside all this time. He blinked and the tears spilled over, but he didn't care, turning and yelling at his stunned members in the kitchen. "What are we? We are supposed to be a close group!! The only time we talk is when we have to!!! I'm tired of feeling ignored! Is it so bad that I really went out and got what I needed? You all would have pushed me away for being too needy!!!" He felt his voice crack, but instead of finishing his shouting, he went to his room, slamming it loudly to him.

 

  
Today was his birthday, of all days. And damn him for being a little selfish in hoping that had been why they were all home.

 

  
\---  
*Sorry it's short. Still in recovery. The next chapter will continue from where this ended. Might have smut idk. I meant to write more, but my head hurts. *


	10. No smut sorry XD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of crying I guess

Chapter 10.   
Note: Things are explained about my absence at the end.

  
\-------------------------------------------------  
Jin stood in a stunned silence in the kitchen at the outburst that had happened in the kitchen. He hated seeing everyone fighting like this, but he knew better than to step in. Everyone had a right to be angry. Their soulmate was cheating on them. It had taken a while to get used to the idea that he was their soulmate... well... that they were all soulmates, but they had. They were all so happy... but what Hoseok said wasn't wrong. They all /had/ been very distant.. and those days when he was home, he was busy doing things to distract himself from the fact that they weren't as close anymore. But he knew Namjoon was working on talking with Bang PD-Nim about setting up a vacation of some kind, to take a break from all of the hardships.

He watched as Namjoon started to head to the door that Hoseok had slammed, but Yoongi was faster.   
\------------

Yoongi slowly opens the door to Hoseoks' room, glaring at the crying form on the bed. "What the hell do you have to be crying about? You cheated on us." He growls, locking the door behind him. Hoseok buries his face in his hands, sobbing a bit harder now. "I know.... I know hyung.... I'm just... I'm not in a good place right now.. I don't know what's wrong with me.. but I'm not okay.. Everyone is so busy.. and distant...."

Yoongi lets out a soft laugh, though there isn't any real humor behind it. "So... you just wanted attention... is that it?" He steps forward slowly, glaring down at him. He stepped in front of Hoseok, grabbing his chin lightly, but making him look up into Yoongi's eyes. Hoseoks' lips were trembling and the pain in his eyes made him look so vulnerable. Yoongi sighed softly. "This is because Namjoon and I are always gone at the studio... isn't it?"

Hoseok manages to nod before he's looking away again, softly sighing. "I...I know you two are working... obviously we're all working hard too, but we don't talk anymore... like we used to..." Yoongi growls in the back of his throat. "And suddenly it's okay for you to sleep around? With random ass people!? Not only is that stupid and dangerous for /all/ of us, but you've seriously hurt us all!!!! How the fuck do you plan to make up for that?!" Yoongi is furious, pacing in front of Hobi and running his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face.

Hoseok shakes his head, the gravity of what he'd done setting in. He'd really only wanted to make them jealous... wanted them to show him that they still cared, but instead he was getting yelled at. He'd hurt the people he'd loved the most. More tears slipped down his face, but he bit his lip and swallowed heavily. "I'll do anything. I'll beg. I'll leave... I'll do anything.."

Smirking now, Yoongi stops and looks over at Hobi. "Anything?" He nods, considering the possibilities of 'anything'. "Understood.....~ You know... you should apologize to them first.... Bow deeply. To /all/ of them. Even Jungkook. And then come back to me."   
\-----

Hoseok had. He'd gone out and bowed so deeply, showing his humiliation and regret. He'd gotten on his hands and knees and had touched his head to the floor, sobbing and explaining how he'd never forgive himself. Taehyung, Jimin, and Jin had forgiven him quickly, but Jungkook and Namjoon would need some time. Hoseok could wait... but for Yoongi? He was a little afraid. He slowly entered his room again, though he wasn't really surprised to see Yoongi laying on his bed. They'd shared it enough times. "....Hyung? I..I'm back.." His voice was a little sore now from all of his sobbing and shouting earlier.

Yoongi looked up with a dark glare, but patted the space next to him. When Hoseok approached, he pulled him into his arms, hugging him close. Hoseok was a little surprised, though when he felt warmth on his shoulder and felt Yoongi shaking, he started to panic. "H-Hyung??" Yoongi was crying. "Don't......Don't do that again, Hoseok... Please. Every time you betrayed us... it hurt... It felt like someone was stabbing a knife into my chest... I couldn't bear to look at you.." Yoongi said softly. Hoseok was genuinely confused, but more hurt than anything, not used to seeing Yoongi cry. "I..I promise.... I won't... I won't do it anymore... please... please don't cry..... don't cry anymore..."

  
\------

**Sorry this chapter is so short.. I... am not really sure how to continue this to be honest. I'm getting some ideas from friends though, so don't worry. It's not over yet.**

**I will be starting a new fic. It's a lot like this one ---- > [http://archiveofourown.org/works/7481172/chapters/17002590 ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7481172/chapters/17002590)You should definitely check that one out by the way~!! But it's a bit different! I'm just using the general idea of a texting fiction, hopefully that will work well for me. XD **   
**\----**

**On another note... sorry for the lack of smut, but the setting wasn't right.**

**Also, the reason I've been gone so long is because I moved to Texas! My birthday was recently too. There's a lot of stuff going on.. but I am glad I managed to get /something/ out.**


	11. Final

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how to continue.... so... I hope you enjoyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the smut. It's my first time writing it ... but I hope it was worth the wait. Thank you all for reading my first fan fiction~

**Yoongi POV.**

**Smut happens~**

 

"I..I promise.... I won't... I won't do it anymore... please... please don't cry..... don't cry anymore..."   
  
Those were the words running through Yoongis' head, Hoseoks' vulnerable eyes staring up at him. He felt his heart clench and pain spread throughout him. He knew he was causing Hoseok pain, but the pain he felt was more.. Beyond hurting his soulmate, his soulmate had hurt him as well. "I don't like this person you've become, Hoseok." He said softly, though he could hear the breaking of his own voice. It made him feel weak, and he hated it.

He hated the way his words made Hoseok break down even more. Hoseok continued to beg for forgiveness, and it honestly made him angry. Couldn't Hoseok see the way that Yoongi already forgave him? The way he'd always forgive him? No matter what Hoseok did... they would always be there for him. No matter what. They would always forgive him... even if it took a bit of time. From the way that Hoseok was crying, it was apparent he would need to be  _shown_ how much he was forgiven.

Yoongi pressed his lips against Hoseoks', cutting off whatever he'd been saying. There was a brief period of absolutely nothing happening on Hoseoks' end.. and Yoongi wondered if maybe.... maybe Hoseoks' feelings for him were purely that of a platonic soulmate. Though finally, with a soft gasp, Hoseok began to kiss him back. It remained chaste for a moment, just kissing and letting the love flow between them.. until Hoseok pulled back for air. 

Yoongi couldn't help but chase after his lips that were as intoxicating as any fine liquor he'd had. Yoongi chased until their lips met again, though a fire had been lit and there was no extinguishing it at this point. The kiss turned passionate very quickly and their tongues danced together, exploring each other as though they were meeting for the first time. And those little noises Hoseok had begun to make against Yoongis' lips were all but driving him insane. 

His hands slowly roamed down Hoseoks' sides, stopping at his hips. His fingers dug in slightly so that he could tug Hoseok closer. He let out a soft gasp himself when he felt Hoseok press against him further, his straining erection pressed against his inner thigh. "F-Fuck.... Hoseok..." The feeling had blood rushing to his own cock and he knew Hoseok could feel it, but no move was made on either part to stop it. 

A bit bravely, Hoseok rolled his hips against Yoongi and felt a shiver of delight run through him at the pleased hiss it drew from Yoongi. Eagerly, Yoongi began to tug at Hoseoks' shirt, desperate to get it off of him. It was a matter of minutes before they were both down to their boxers, staring at each other with lust darkened eyes. Though Yoongi was hesitating. "Are you sure.... you want to go through this? With me? I may be mad at you still, but you don't have to do anything you don't-" He's cut off by Hoseok melding their lips together again, and Yoongi is a bit surprised at how nice his lips taste. He can't really pinpoint the flavor though. 

Hoseok pulls back, a bit out of breath. "Who said I didn't want to? I'll take any punishment you give me, yeah... but... I've been wanting this for a while... with you." He admits a bit sheepishly and Yoongi feels his heart begin to race.  He pulls Hoseok into his arms, pressing heated kisses along the sunkissed skin of his neck, letting Hoseoks' little moans spur him further.  He kisses slowly down Hoseoks' chest and slowly pushes him down onto his back at the same time. He sits up slowly, his face red. He's right next to the tent in Hoseoks' boxers, but he isn't going to touch him. "This..... this is your punishment. As...as much as I'd love to suck you off and leave you wanting more... I'm not. Instead...I'm going to ride you. You don't get to feel my tongue  _or_ my cock... not for a while, Hoseok-ah~"   
  
Hoseok looks mildly scared, but he swallows and nods, though his cheeks are heavily pinked at the moment. "Ah...I...should I... prep you?" He offers, though looks confused when Yoongi says no. The little shit actually smirks. "All we need is lube. Jiminie and I had some fun in the shower earlier this morning~"   
  
Hoseok wants to feel upset about that, but they're all together anyway. It really doesn't matter, and he can't help but be a little curious. "...How...ah...How big is he?" Yoongi contemplates for a moment as he slowly pulls off Hoseoks' boxers, tossing them to some random corner of his room along with his own, not to be discovered until Jungkook and Jin are ready to do laundry. "Hm....He's not as long as you.." Yoongi muses as he wraps a hand around Hoseoks cock, taking the lubricant Hoseok had dug out of a drawer near the bed.  Hoseok lets out a little hiss that ends in a whimper, thrusting up weakly into Yoongis' hand. He was beyond ready to be inside of Yoongi already. "Though... he's definitely a bit thicker." Yoongi smirks again, uncapping the cool liquid and squeezing it directly on Hoseoks heated cock, letting out a dark chuckle when Hoseok hissed.  
  
Yoongi slowly stroked the lube over Hoseoks' cock, licking his lips as he sees a bead of pre-cum form on the tip and has to restrain himself from leaning over and licking it off. Hoseok let out delicate little moans and Yoongi felt anger swell in him. Anger that others had seen and heard this side of Hoseok before himself or his other soulmates could. Huffing, he climbs over Hoseok, hand still wrapped around Hoseoks' cock. He lined himself up and slowly began to sink down, letting out a soft stuttering cry as Hoseok slowly began to fill him up.   
  
Sweat began to bead on Hoseoks' head as he restrained from bucking up into the tight heat, releasing a low groan. "A-Ahh...Shit... H-Hyung....are you  _sure_ this is a good idea? You're so..ah~ so fucking tight.." Yoongi sunk down until his ass was flush against Hoseoks' skin, panting and shaking a bit. He adjusted himself so that his knees were on either side of Hoseoks' thighs, his cock already dribbling out a bit of pre-cum onto Hoseoks' abdomen. "Y-Yeah....fuck...ah.." Yoongi panted out, giving himself a few moments to adjust. 

 

Slowly, like a rocking wave, Yoongi begins to move himself, hands on Hoseoks' chest and fingers splayed wide. Each bounce is slow and short, working himself into it. Hoseoks' hands are on Yoongis' hips, nearly bruising the delicate skin beneath his fingers. After a moment, Yoongi gives up, panting and complaining about how much work he's having to do when it's Hoseoks' punishment, so Hoseok snaps his hips in suddenly, cutting Yoongi off and making the other let out a loud cry. "Oh.... so you  _prefer_ when someone is rougher with you, Yoongi-hyung~?" He asks, though he already knows the answer. He starts a fast and somewhat brutal pace into Yoongi, Pulling him up until he's nearly pulled out, and snapping back in, which made their skin resonate a loud and wet slapping throughout the room.

Yoongi's loud moans and Hoseoks deep grunts were filling the room along with the wet slaps of Hoseoks' powerful thrusts. On each snap, however, Hoseok would grind his cock into Yoongi, and he knew that move would prove fruitful when Yoongi suddenly let out a loud curse and tossed his head back. "F-Fuck!!! There, Hoseok!!! There!!!" He shouted, a steady stream of pre-cum leaking from Yoongi's cock. "I'm so fucking close,  _please!!!_ " And Hoseok was all too happy to help. It took exactly three more thrusts before Yoongi let out a strangled cry of Hoseoks name and came in beautiful thick ropes across Hoseoks' chest. 

The squeezing of Yoongis' ass around Hoseoks' cock, combined with the hot whimpers and moans coming from a very oversensitive Yoongi had Hoseok cumming next, thrusting deeply within Yoongi and releasing his heated seed. He sat up and bit down on Yoongi's shoulder as he came, moaning out loudly and shaking a little, panting heavily. They stayed like this for a moment, panting and holding onto each other as they slowly came down from their highs. 

"...I'm really sorry...Yoongi... I love you."

"I know, dumbass. I love your stupid ass too."

"Do you really love my stupid ass?"

"Yeah. And the rest of you isn't so bad either."

\----

 

The next few months were hard for Hoseok, as he had to prove to the others that he had truly changed and really wanted to be with them. He'd managed to do it, in the end, and they'd not had a problem from him since. He still woke up with nightmares sometimes. Nightmares of what had happened, but every night, they were there for him, and they'd help him through it.

They were always there for each other, even through the hard times. 

 

And as Hoseok held onto the newest addition to their family, years later, at the adoption center... all he could think was..  
  
"Maybe I was never broken after all." 


End file.
